Living in Hell
by Beautiful Savage
Summary: Ed gets shipped off to war along with three others. He soon discovers that war is merely unpleasant while life after war is hell. AU and rating subject to change later on. WARNING: Bloody, violent, and intense. I suck at summaries, better if you just read
1. The Dual

Chapter One: The Dual

Ed and Al walked out onto the central training ground at Central and looked around.

"Hey look," Al said pointing to a small crowd that had gathered at one side of the grounds.

"I wonder what's going on," Al said. Ed shrugged.

"Let's check it out," he said as he moved towards the crowd. The smell of gunpowder and sweat was strong as he pushed through the solders. He finally made it to the front of the crowd just in time to see Armstrong fly backwards towards where he was standing. Ed and the solders that surrounded him quickly dove out of the way. Ed did a shoulder roll and landed on his feet.

"Wow," Al said from beside him staring at Armstrong who was out cold on the ground. Ed looked up and saw a young woman who looked about his age standing in the center of the ring of solders. She was tall with long golden-brown hair that was in a pony tail behind her head. Her figure showed slightly from beneath the shapeless white dress shirt and blue slacks of the military uniform. From what Ed could see she looked like she had a curvy figure. Her skin was pale and she had even delicate features. Her full lips were curled into a smirk and her bright green eyes shined with mirth.

"Anybody else wanna take me on?" she asked the solders. Everyone shrunk backwards leaving Ed and Al standing alone and exposed. She turned her eyes to them.

"What about you short stuff?" she asked lazily. Ed turned bright red and stripped his red coat and through it at Al.

"No brother wait," Al said but Ed was already toe to toe with the young woman.

"Who you calling a speck so small you need a magnifying glass to see?" he snarled. The chick didn't even flinch, instead her smirk widened.

"Actually I was thinking that I've got piles of paper work taller than you but that analogy works as well," she told him. Al groaned and cries began to rise from the crowd.

"Kick her ass Fullmetal!!"

"Spank him good Toby!!"

"I bet 20 bucks on the shrimp!!"

"50 on the dame!!"

The woman looked at Ed who was trying to glare at everyone at once.

"What 'cha say shorty?" she asked.

"You're on," she said. Ed took a step backwards and drew his fist back. He let his hand fly and the woman merely side stepped it. Ed punched at her again with his other arm causing her to side step him again. He growled softly and began punching rapidly. The young woman dodged every signal one of them.

"Are you gonna fight me or not?" Ed growled.

"I was just trying to make you feel like you tried," she said as he aimed a punch right at her face, "But if you insist." Lighting fast she grasped his wrist, and through him to the side. Ed growled in frustration and leapt to his feet. He clapped his hands together and drove them into the ground. A wave of stone rose and plunged towards the girl. She yawned and stuck out her gloved hand. She snapped her fingers and a fire ball hit the wave sending stone flying everywhere. Ed clapped his hands again but the chick slammed her palm into the ground and a huge wall of stone rose around Ed. He clapped his hands and pressed them to the wall. A hole appeared and he charged out.

"Like that could stop me," he said as his auto-mail changed into a blade. The young woman leapt gracefully into the air and landed behind him.

"Like it was suppose to," she said lazily. Ed whipped around and brought his arm down. The woman brought her right arm up and there was the sound of metal hitting metal. Ed stared at the flash of silver he saw through the cut in her shirt. He looked into the woman's green eyes and saw that they were sparkling malevolently.

"What's a matter Fullmetal? Though you were the only one with auto-mail?" she asked smirking. She shoved Ed backwards and brought her right leg up and kicked him in the chest. He fell on his back and watched as she leapt onto his chest. For as tall as she was she was amazingly light. He grabbed her ankle with his human hand and jerked her legs out from under her. She fell backwards and he rolled out from under her. He jumped up and brought his blade down towards her face. She brought her auto-mail arm up and blocked him again. She through him off her and touched her right arm with her left hand and it transformed into a blade similar to Ed's. She struck a fighters stance.

"Bring it on shrimp," she taunted. Ed saw red and lunged at her. The sound on steel on steel rang through the training ground as they spared. Ed was surprised at how limber and fast she was. They locked blades and Ed drew back his human hand and punched as hard as he could in her right ribs. He yelped in pain and jumped backwards. The woman leapt forward and knocked him over. She landed on his chest and pressed the point of her blade to his throat.

"You give?" she asked.

"Yes," he admitted slightly annoyed. She smiled and stepped off his chest then touched her auto-mail with her human hand and it returned to normal. She offered him her hand and he grasped it and allowed her to pull him to his feet.

"You've got auto-mail on your chest," he observed. She merely smiled again.

"Ya, it fucked up your hand huh?" she said. He nodded and looked down at his hand which was swelling.

"Bravo! BRAVO!" Fuhrer Bradley said clapping as he made his way towards the two.

"Party's over," the girl muttered as she and Ed snapped to. Bradley came to a stop in front of them and smiled softly.

"At ease. Good show you two. I haven't see a fight of that caliber in years. Even Mustang didn't give you that good of a fight Fullmetal," he said smiling. Mustang who was at the Fuhrer's shoulder grimaced slightly.

"Thank you sir," Ed said.

"And you Elemental, you've improved greatly," he said looking at the young woman. She smiled winningly.

"Thank you," she said.

"Well, as you know duals are illegal, but since it was such a spectacular display I'll over look it," the Fuhrer said smiling, "But I need to see you both in my office." Ed and Elemental nodded and followed him and Mustang to his office. They entered and found Armstrong waiting; when they entered he sprang to his feet and snapped a salute.

"At ease," the Fuhrer said as he sat down. He studied the four alchemist stood in front of his desk closely.

"I have your next mission. The four of you will being to Lior," he said.


	2. War

Chapter Two: War

Ed looked surprised.

"Why sir?" he asked with out thinking.

"Because the war there is getting out of hand. The supporters are rallying and our forces there are being killed in droves. I'm sending you four in because you are the best and with alchemist we can contain the situation quickly," The Fuhrer explained. Ed stood in shocked silence. He hadn't know that their was a war going on anywhere let alone in Lior.

"When will we be leaving sir?" Armstrong asked.

"Immediately. And Fullmetal I'm ordering you to leave your brother behind. Any other questions?" he asked the four of them shook their heads, "Elemental you will be driving seeing as you just returned. Dismissed," he said. The four Alchemist saluted him and exited the office. Al was waiting for Ed just outside.

"Everything alright brother?" he asked. Ed just looked at him.

"We need to bring a few things so everyone meet out front in twenty minutes," Mustang said. They nodded and each turned and went an opposite direction. Ed and Al made their way to the bunk house. Ed silently began packing.

"Where are we going brother?" Al asked.

"You're not going anywhere. I'm going to Lior," Ed said in a dead voice.

"What? Why?" Al asked.

"There's a war there. Your staying here because it's to dangerous," Ed told him.

"No let me go with you!" Al cried.

"No. It's to much of a risk. Plus The Fuhrer ordered I leave you behind," Ed told him.

"But brother…" Al began.

"NO AL," Ed said sharply.

"But what if you get killed?" Al asked frantically.

"I won't get killed. I promise I'll come back," Ed said as he turned and began walking to the front of the building. The two of them walked in silence until they reached the front. The young woman was leaning on a black military jeep smoking a cigarette. She looked up at them then back at the ground. Ed walked around the car and through his things into the passenger side. The girl looked over at him with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not sitting next to either one of them," he told her. She shrugged and took another pull on her smoke.

"We were never properly introduced. I'm Tobias Fuller the Elemental Alchemist. Call me Toby," she said.

"I'm Edward Elric The Fullmetal Alchemist. Call me Ed. And this is my brother Al," Ed told her. She nodded and went back to staring at the ground. Armstrong and Mustang appeared looking very solemn.

"Time to go Ed," Mustang said as he got into the backseat. Armstrong walked around and got in next to him. Toby dropped her cigarette and ground it under her heel before she got in to the driver's side. Ed quickly walked around and got into the car.

"Bye Al," he muttered.

"Be careful brother. And take care all of you," Al said. Mustang and Armstrong nodded and Toby hit the gas. Al watched as the car sped away with worried eyes.

"Please come back brother. All of you please come back," he said softly.

"Alphonse," Hawkeye said as she emerged from the building.

"Hello Hawkeye," he said looking at her.

"Mustang asked me to look after you well your brother's away," she told him.

"That was kind. I hope they're alright," Al said.

"Don't worry Mustang will look out for him and both Armstrong and Toby are strong and loyal. All four of them will be fine," she reassured him although she sounded worried.

0O0

Ed watched as the scenery passed the windows. Soon the sights of the inner city gave way to the outskirts of town. After that came open desert. They rode in silence; no one spoke the only sound in the car was the occasional sound of someone shifting. Finally Ed looked at his watch and saw that four and a half hours had passed since they'd left Central. He turned in his seat and looked at Mustang. The raven haired man was staring blankly out the window.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ed asked. Mustang and Armstrong both shifted and looked at him.

"Tell you what Ed?" Mustang asked.

"About Lior?" Ed said.

"I don't know. I guess I was hoping that it would be resolved before alchemist were involved. The last thing we needed was another Ishbal. Maybe if we're lucky we're just being sent in as a threat," Mustang told him.

"No, we're going in as weapons. It's already a second Ishbal," Toby said.

"How do you know?" Armstrong asked.

"I was there two weeks ago. It was bad then and the Fuhrer told me that if alchemists were sent back in it would be as weapons," she said.

"Oh," was all Ed said. The four of them returned to looking out the windows in silence. Soon it was dark and then dawn again. The hours seemed to fly by. They stopped at a military out post at about noon to refuel and get something to eat.

"Maybe I should drive awhile. You've been up for more than a day," Mustang said to Toby.

"Sure just keep going East," Toby said yawning. Ed and she climbed into the backseat and Mustang and Armstrong took the front. Pretty soon Ed and Toby were sound asleep in the backseat.

"Do you think it's really as bad as Ishbal was?" Armstrong asked finally.

"Who knows. She could be wrong. She probably was repeating what one of the older solders said. She wasn't there," Mustang said.

"Yes I was," Toby's voice said from the backseat. Both of the men turned around and looked at the young girl. Neither one knew her very well. They'd only met her once or twice in passing, she was climbing the ranks to fast for anyone to get to know her. She opened her green eyes and looked at them.

"Eyes on the road sir," she said to Mustang. He turned around but Armstrong continued to stare at her.

"What do you mean you were there? You're much to young to have fought," Mustang said looking in the rearview mirror.

"You're right. I'm only 19. My parents and I were in Ishbal when the revolution started on a good will mission. I was young but I saw my share. Lior is the same way," she told them.

"You're sure?" Armstrong asked.

"Positive. I remember Ishbal like it was yesterday. It's not something you forget," she said. Mustang and Armstrong nodded; she was right they would never forget the things they saw in Ishbal. Armstrong turned around and faced forward again.

"You should really get some sleep," Mustang told the girl softly.

"It's quieter when I'm awake. No screams you know," she said. Mustang nodded and they all fell silent. The young and the old remembering their shared horror and wondering what awaited them at their destination.


	3. The Horrors of War

Chapter Three: The horrors of war

Ed once again sat in the front seat next to Toby. They were on their third day of driving and Ed was going nuts. Mustang and Armstrong were asleep in the backseat. Ed looked over at Toby she was still in her blue slacks but had taken her white dress shirt off because of the heat and was clad in a black undershirt. It turned out that she was indeed curvy. She was amply endowed and built. Her auto-mail was slender compared to Ed's. In fact who ever had made it had done a good job making it in the shape of a slender female arm. The windows were down and a slight breeze whipped at her and Ed's hair. Her arm was resting out the window and a cigarette burned between her fingers. She had a tattoo on her collar bone beside her auto-mail:

God forgive me for all I've seen

Devil take me for all I've done

Heaven lift my spirit

Hell shred my soul

Ed read the cryptic words and looked at Toby who was staring out into the desert that seemed to go on forever. He looked at her tattoo again and wondered what it meant. He couldn't take it anymore, the silence was driving him crazy.

"You're a good fighter," he said. She glanced over at him before looking in front of them again.

"Thanks you are too. You gave me some trouble though I'm not use to fighting others who use eastern style. It's normally commandos I fight," she said with a slight smile as she took a drag.

"So the Fuhrer said that you'd just gotten back from Lior," Ed said hoping that he might find out something more than their was a war.

"Ya, two weeks ago. Before that I was in and out ever since I joined up," she told him.

"Really? How long has that been," he asked trying to figure out how long the war in Lior had been going on.

"A little over a year. But the war's been on for almost three," she told him. He counted backwards in his head. Three years that meant that it must have broken out shortly after Al and he had been there.

"Is it bad?" Ed asked. She shrugged as she took a final pull off her smoke and flicked it out the window.

"Sometimes. And sometimes it's pretty calm. The first time I went I damn near got blown up. The second it was almost like a vacation," she told him. Ed instantly looked at her auto-mail. He wanted to ask but didn't want to be rude.

"No," Toby said. Ed jumped slightly and looked at her.

"What?" he asked.

"No, I didn't get my auto-mail from something that happened in Lior. I got the same way you did," she told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked defensively. She sighed and looked at him.

"I'm not an idiot Ed. I know how it is that people get so they don't need transmutation circles. You don't need circles and neither do I. Put two and two together," she said before turning her eyes back to the road. Ed sat and digested what she'd said. After a few seconds it hit him. She'd seen the Gate. And the only way to see the Gate was to attempt a human transmutation.

"Oh," was all he could think to say. She smiled sadly.

"It's nice to know that you weren't the only one young and dumb huh," she said. It wasn't really a question.

"Ya, so how old are you?" Ed asked.

"19," she replied.

"Who's your mechanic?" he asked.

"Pinako and Winry Rockbel," Toby said. Ed smiled slightly.

"No kidding? They're mine too. Their actually our old friends. We grew up with them," Ed told her. She smiled.

"You must have been beaten with a wrench a few times. Winry actually tried to beat me over the head because I was a smart mouth and Pinako said I reminded her of one of her boys. I assume she meant you," Toby said. Ed smiled at the thought of Winry and Pinako and then wondered if he'd ever see them again. Toby seemed to read his mind.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine," she said.

"This isn't fair. There were a lot of innocent people in Lior. And now the military's there and there are people dieing," Ed said looking out the window.

"You're right. It isn't fair. Life isn't fair Ed. But think how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happened to us happened because we actually deserved them. I for one take great comfort in the complete impersonal hostility of the universe," she said swerving to avoid a dead tree. Ed nodded then sat in silence.

"Do you think we'll have to kill anyone?" he asked finally.

"I know we'll have to kill people, but it's kill or be killed. If the rebels don't kill you the military will. That's just the way it is. I've had to kill every time I've been there," she told him. He looked at her in shock. In the soft light from the setting sun she looked cold and distant.

"You sound like you don't care," he said. She sighed and rested her head in her hand and her elbow on the door.

"It's not that I don't care it's that I can't care. Neither can you. If you do you'll go nuts. Just look at the solders who fought in Ishbal," Toby said.

"Is it bad?" he asked. She laughed bitterly.

"You have no idea. If I told you just how bad it is you wouldn't believe me," she told him.

"Please tell me. I want to be ready," he said. She looked at him quickly before turning back to the road.

"Fine but I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's nasty. But if you're sure," she said.

"I'm sure," he said. She sighed.

"It's hell on earth. Night and day you can hear the gunshots and the explosions. But what really gets to you are the screams. Their the screams of dieing men, women, and children. You hardly ever sleep. Not because you can't but because you don't want to. The wind brings the smell of burning flesh and blood. And that's went you're not actually active. When you do fight you see their faces. Pale and wide eyed. Not just men either, women and children too. You want to save them but you can't and if you try they'll kill you. If you get any blood on you it burns like acid. And no matter how hard you try you can't wash it off. Even when it physical blood is gone it stains your skin in your memory. You walk down the street and you see the dead and dieing. Wounded are brought back to the base as formality mostly. They can only save a few. You'll never be the same, no matter what you lose an innocents that everyone has when they first go into battle. You can never forget the things you see or escape them. In you're dreams you hear the dieing prays that they scream and see their faces. Your memories only sharpen with time. And you'll be doing something when you're awake and suddenly you'll have a flashback and freeze. There's no refuge from your memories, not in your sleep or in wakefulness," she told him. He saw that as she told him her eyes dulled and she looked troubled. Ed remembered when he'd fought Mustang the way he'd frozen and had the same look in his eyes. Ed turned around and looked at the sleeping raven haired man. He'd been in Ishbal and so had Armstrong and Ed noticed that sometimes the older men would get a distant look in there eyes and stop whatever they were doing. He looked over and saw that Toby had lit another cigarette, and a though occurred to him. Maybe the reason Mustang drank was because of what he'd seen.

"Why do you do that to yourself?" he asked. Toby understood what he meant instantly.

"Because I'm weak. It's an outlet. Some solders drink, some cut themselves, some ignore it and bottle it all up inside, and some like me smoke. The ones who do those things do them to keep their grip on sanity. Some solders manage not to and act a normal as possible and those are the strong ones although they also have a tendency to snap. But some actually take pleasure in war. They are the ones you have to watch," she told him. Ed sat in silence trying to digest everything she'd told him. It seemed impossible for something that horrible to happen on earth. Man was an unkind creature but to create an environment like that willingly and over and over again through out time seemed inhuman. It made him want to give up all faith in humanity. Finally after a long time Ed spoke.

"I don't believe it," he said softly.

"I know but you will," Toby replied. They rode in silence until they came over a rise and the night sky was painted red by the fires that raged in the distance. Every once in a while a bright ball of fire would rise up and light up the sky even brighter illuminating the thick cloud of smoke that hung over the city that had once been Lior.

"Oh god. What have we done?" Ed breathed. Toby looked over at him.

"Welcome to hell," she said as they sped toward the city.


	4. The Nightmare Begins

Chapter Four: The nightmare begins

"Wake them up," Toby said to Ed motioning to Mustang and Armstrong. Ed nodded and tore his gaze from the window to the backseat. He reached over and gently touched Mustang's knee. He stirred.

"Mustang get up we're here," Ed said. Mustang's eyes snapped open and so did Armstrong's both of them sat up right and stared out the window. Both of them were dead quiet until Mustang looked over at Toby.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Putting on my shirt," she replied as she pushed her auto-mail arm through the arm of her white button up shirt. The three of them watched as she tried to do up the front buttons on her shirt and drive at the same time.

"This whole situation could have been avoided if you'd just left your shirt on. The three of us only took off our jackets and we're fine," Mustang said to the girl. Toby swung around and glared at him.

"Yes, but unlike the three of you I have a lot of extra padding on my chest which means that I get hot easier than you. So shut the hell up and talk to me after you deal with having breasts well driving in a stuffy car through the desert for three days," she said. Ed snickered at the look on Mustang's face. The Cornel was use to having Ed snap at him but compared to the way Toby had just dressed him down Ed looked like an angle.  
"And here I thought you were nice," Ed said softly as he laughed.

"I have no clue what gave you that idea. I'm a cynical bitch," Toby said as she managed to finish buttoning her shirt. They rode in silence up to the entrance of the camp. Solders ran every which way and a privet ran up to the driver's side of the car.

"Who are you?" he asked frantically. Behind him in the distance explosions lit up the sky and yelling and gunfire filled the air.

"We're the alchemist central sent," Toby told him. The solder looked like he was going to collapse with relief.

"Thank god! This way," he called as he lead the way to the center of the camp. Toby obediently followed him and killed the engine in front of a large tent. The four of them got out of the car and began to pull their coats on as they followed the privet into the tent. A tall lean man stood in the center giving commands to a few solders. He was a good half-foot taller than Mustang and as wide as Armstrong. He had small dark eyes and short gray hair. His name was Henry O'Hare. He was the new brigadier-general and know as the Demolition Alchemist. He looked up and almost smiled when he saw Toby and the others.

"Glad to see you back Toby. I take it these are the other alchemist the Fuhrer sent," O'Hare said to her. She snapped to and the other three followed suit.

"Yes, sir. These are Cornel Roy Mustang The Flame Alchemist, Major Alex Louis Armstrong The Strongarm Alchemist, and Edward Elric The Fullmetal Alchemist," she said nodding to each one as she said their name.

"Good. You all arrived in the nick of time. There is an outburst going on right now. We are currently unable to contain it. The four of you will be going with Privet Johnson and make sure you quickly contain it. Dismissed," he said before turning back to the solders he'd been speaking to. The Privet that had lead them there snapped them a salute.

"This way Sirs," he said as he turned and led them out of the tent and through the camp. They hurried through the streets and Ed could feel his adrenalin pumping. The sounds of the battle were growing louder and heat from the unchecked fires they passed made him sweat. He looked over and saw that Toby, Mustang, and Armstrong looked calm as could be. All three of them had a strait faces and their eyes looked hallow and distant. All to soon they turned a corner and were in the middle of a battlefield. It was chaos; solders were firing their weapons at commoners that charged them. Bodies littered the ground and the air was thick with the smell of sweat, blood, and gunpowder. Ed wanted to vomit at the sight but knew there was no time.

"Ed, Toby right," Mustang yelled. Ed saw Toby nod and she began moving off to the right. Ed started to move after her but as he passed Privet Johnson he heard the man scream and saw him fall writhing to the ground; he'd been shot in the stomach. Ed stared at him in horror. Blood pooled around the man and he slowly stilled. Ed watched as the man's eyes went dead and knew that everything that Toby had said was true. Suddenly he was jerked forward. He turned and saw that Toby had his arm and was dragging him.

"Don't look at their faces if you can help it," she yelled over the sounds of the battle. Suddenly a man turned and was charging at them. Ed instantly dropped into a defensive position but the man was suddenly engulfed in flame. Ed looked over and saw Toby standing staring at the man who was screaming in pain as his skin melted off his bones. She turned and started moving again. Ed followed her.

"We're here to use our alchemy to produce fear and thus order. So use it Ed," she yelled as she snapped her fingers again causing a few people near by to burst into flame. Ed stopped and stared at her in horror. He heard a yell behind him and turned and saw half a dozen men pointing their weapons at him. He didn't think he just clapped his hands together and dropped to his knees he drove his hands into the ground and a wave of earth covered the men. He stood up and saw that another group was starting towards him. A bullet whizzed by his face so close he could hear it cutting through the air. Suddenly it was like he was outside his body. He watched as he buried person after person.

He didn't know how long he fought, occasionally he would see Toby. She'd changed from flames to another attack. She would make a sweeping motion with her hand and something like a sudden gust of wind would hit the person except when it hit the person she was aiming at it would rip away huge pieces of their skin away exposing their bones and causing them to writhe in pain and bleed profusely.

After what seemed like an eternity the fighting slowed. Ed let his attacks go less and less frequently until their was no one left attacking him. He looked around and saw solders standing staring at nothing or laying on the ground dieing or dead. He found that their screams didn't seem to reach his ears. He started to move through the crowd looking for Mustang, Armstrong, or Toby. He turned a corner and found a rifle in his face. He looked at the person holding the rifle and saw it was a boy a year or two younger than him. Ed raised his hands.

"Don't shoot. I'm not going to hurt you," Ed told him. The boy just gripped the rifle tighter. Ed saw that he was white and shaking. Ed went to open his mouth again but he saw the kid's hand move toward the trigger. Without even thinking Ed's arm was morphing into a blade and then he stabbed the boy in the throat. Ed stared wide eyed as the boy dropped the gun and his blood flowed down Ed's arm soaking his clothes. The boy's legs gave out and he fell dead to the ground. Ed stood in the same position staring at the body until Toby came around the corner. She was covered in blood and pale. When she saw him she turned and yelled around the corner.

"He's over here!" she yelled before turning back to him. She took a step forward and gently placed her human hand on his outstretched arm.

"Ed…" she said softly. He looked at her and began laughing hysterically. He dropped his arm and it changed back. He kept laughing as he backed away from her. Mustang and Armstrong appeared behind her. Mustang was supporting Armstrong and both were soaked with blood. The three of them stared at him with worried eyes.

"Edward," Toby said as she stepped forward. He took another step backwards and his back was against the wall, and he fell silent. Toby looked at Mustang then back at Ed.

"Edward say something," she commanded as she took two steps forward. Suddenly he wanted to run, run away from Toby and the others. He wanted to run away from this place and never look back. He tried to bolt but Toby caught him. She quickly pinned him against the wall by his shoulders and he went crazy.

"Lemme go! Just lemme go!! I wanna go!!" he screamed as he pounded on her shoulders, chest, and face with both of his hands as hard as he could. She winced but stayed where she was. After a few minutes his blows began to weaken.

"Lemme go…please just lemme go," he said and began to sob. Toby pulled him into a tight hug. After a few minutes she pulled away and wrapped her right arm around his waist and place his arm on her shoulders and held his left wrist in her hand. Ed felt tired, very tired and allowed her to help him back to the camp.


	5. The Aftermath

Chapter Five: The Aftermath

Ed, Toby, Mustang and Armstrong arrived at the camp and were greeted by the brigadier-general coming out of his tent. The four of them stopped and looked at him.

"Good show! With you here this should wrap up in no time," he said happily. The four of them stayed silent and looked at him grimly. They couldn't help but notice that he hadn't even set foot out side the tent since they'd last seen him.

"Well, I guess you all are tried. We have a tent set up just for you four. Toby it's your old tent," he said.

"Yes sir. Is that all?" she asked in a dead voice.

"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow. Dismissed," he said. The four of them nodded and Toby led the way to her old tent. It was fairly big with four single bunks in a row. In one corner was a small shower with a curtain that went from floor to ceiling. Next to it was a screen that could be pulled in front of the shower so you were hidden when you changed. In the opposite corner was a sink and a shelf that held a few dishes. An open closet stood in the center of the room and was filled with towels and washcloths. Their stuff had already been moved from the car to the tent. Toby walked over and lowed Ed on to the bed with his stuff on it then fell heavily onto the bunk next to his. He just sat there and stared at the wall. Mustang helped Armstrong to the bunk next to Toby's before he collapsed on his own which was on the other side of Armstrong's. After a few minutes of silence Toby stood and stripped off her jacket and dress shirt leaving her in her undershirt which was plastered to her body with blood.

"Who's wounded?" she asked both Mustang and Armstrong raised their hands. She looked at them.

"One of you go take a shower and then the other will. I'll take care of you after your showers," she said they nodded and Mustang got up and pulled a few things from his bag.

"Make sure where you're wounded is easily excisable," she said as he headed for the shower. He nodded and Toby turned to Ed. He just looked up at her. She walked over and took his jacket off for him. He just sat motionless, even when she stripped his shirt off he didn't say anything. She stood up and went and got a bowl of water from the sink and a washcloth from the closet. She knelt down in front of him and began gently cleaning off his chest. The water turned red as she wiped the blood away. He looked down at her and saw that she was thinking pretty hard.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Checking to see if you were wounded," she said as she wiped some blood of his side.

"I wasn't wounded," he told her.

"Yes you were you've got a few grazes, but nothing major so I'll take care of them after you shower," she said as she went over to the sink and dumped the water. She came back with clean water and a clean towel and knelt down in front of Armstrong.

"Where are you wounded?" she asked. He looked down at her.

"There's no need…" he began.

"Bull shit I saw you take that hit. Now where," she said cutting him off. He looked at her for a minute then pulled his shirt off. A bullet wound oozed blood from his right bicep. Toby quickly cleaned it off and examined it. Then she pulled his pant leg up and examined a wound in his calf. She sat back on her heels and sighed.

"You'll live but I need to get that bullet out," she said motioning to his arm. He nodded and she got up and retrieved a first aid kit from somewhere. Ed watched as she opened it and pulled out a flask. She handed it to Armstrong who unscrewed the cap and sniffed it.

"The Armstrongs never drink," he told her.

"Well you do. I will not have you moving around when I'm taking that bullet out," she told him.

"But…" he began.

"Now. That's an order," she snapped. He nodded and took a swig of the liquid from the flask.

"What rank are you?" Ed asked hollowly.

"Lieutenant Cornel," she replied. Ed felt mildly surprised. He was to numb to feel much. A few minutes later Armstrong didn't even feel it when Toby reached forward and pinched him with her auto-mail. She reached down and pulled a long slender blade from the first aid kit. She stood up and placed her human hand on Armstrong's shoulder.

"Ready?" she asked. He nodded. Ed watched in horrified amazement as Toby plunged the blade into his wound and twisted it. Armstrong muffled a groan of pain as a bullet popped out of his wound and fell to the floor. Toby withdrew the knife and dropped it into the bowl of water as she picked up the clean towel and pressed it to the wound. She held it tightly until Mustang appeared in sweatpants a few minutes later. She carefully pulled the cloth back and looked at the wound, it had stopped bleeding.

"Shower," she said. Armstrong obediently stood up and walked towards the shower. Mustang sat down on his bunk and waited. Toby retrieved clean water and a clean towel. She bandaged the raven haired man's side where it looked like someone had shredded the flesh and then sat down on her bunk.

"I'd kill for a drink," Mustang muttered. Toby stood up and dove under her bed. She reappeared with two bottles.

"All I've got is whiskey," she told him as she handed him a bottle. He stared at her for a moment then uncorked the bottle and took a long drink. Ed just stared at him. Toby noticed how out of it Ed was and got a glass and poured him a drink. She handed it to Ed. He just stared at her then at the amber liquid in the glass. He never liked to drink not to mention that he was underage. But right now a drunken stupor looked good to him. After another minute of thinking about it he slammed the alcohol in one swig.

"Jesus Christ!" he said as the searing liquid slid down his throat causing his eyes to water and him to cough. He blinked a few times and found that the haze that had settled on his mind was beginning to lift. He shook his head and looked up at Toby and Mustang who were busy slamming their own liquor. Toby stopped and shook her head then looked at Ed.

"Feel better dude?" she asked. He nodded and watched as she lit a cigarette. Mustang had already finished a third of his bottle. The raven haired Cornel looked at Ed.

"Still with us Fullmetal?" he asked. Ed nodded, he looked back at Toby and saw that she looked like hell. Her face and arms were turning black and blue from when he'd hit her. She leaned against the support pole that ran at the foot of her bed. One of her knees was drawn up and her auto-mail arm rested on it with the bottle in her hand.

"Sorry," he said.

"For what?" she asked.

"Flipping out on you," he said. She looked at Mustang and they laughed.

"It's no big deal," she said taking a drink.

"We'd have been worried if you hadn't flipped out. It's natural," Mustang said.

"It is?" Ed asked. They both nodded.

"Yes, I broke my commanding officer's nose when I did," Mustang told him.

"I totaled another solder's ribs," Toby said as she leaned forward and poured some more of the brown liquid in Ed's glass. He looked at it doubtfully.

"It'll help you sleep. I'm not trying to get you tanked really," Toby said. Ed nodded and sipped his drink. He continued to watch as Mustang and Toby drank more than half a bottle each.

"Should you be drinking that much?" he asked.

"Yes, because unlike you we are trying to get tanked," Mustang said as he slammed some more.

"Don't worry Ed. It takes a hell of a lot more for me to get hammered," Toby said at his worried look. Mustang looked at her.

"So why are you here?" he asked.

"Pardon," she said looking at her.

"Well I know why Ed joined and the same with Armstrong. But I don't know anything besides your name and rank," he told her. She smiled at him.

"I joined up so I could get away from my foster parents," she said.

"That seems strange. To make it so you're a dog to get away from your parents," he said.

"My foster parents. My parents died when I was young. And I was a dog before. My foster parents use to treat me like one. One meal a day and they use to beat me like a disobedient dog. I joined so I could get away from them. Although right about now I'm wondering if it was such a good idea," she told him. He nodded and thought for a moment.

"I wonder if anyone has ever joined the military just because they wanted to serve their country," he said.

"Doubtful. Very doubtful," Toby said. Armstrong reappeared from the bathroom and sat down on his bunk. He wore a pair of boxers and nothing else. Toby put her cigarette out in an ashtray that she'd made appear from somewhere then re-corked her bottle and stood up.

"Ed shower," she said as she went over and began to bandage Armstrong's leg. Ed picked up a pair of sleep pants and did as he was told. As soon as Ed stepped into the shower he realized just how much blood he had on him. Toby had been right; now that he realized it the blood did burn like acid. The water in the shower was ice cold but he stood under it for a long time as he scrubbed his skin raw. After about a half an hour he turned the water off and stepped out behind the screen. That was when he realized he'd forgotten a towel.

"Ahhh crap," he said.

"What's a matter Ed? Forget something?" Mustang's amused voice came. He could hear Toby and Armstrong laughing.

"Shut up and bring me a towel Mustang," Ed snapped. A brief but muted conversation ensued. Then he heard someone get up and start walking to the screen. Ed walked to the edge and waited for Mustang so he could punch the older man. But instead Toby appeared. If Ed had stayed where he was he'd have been covered but where he stood now Toby could see everything and then some. She stopped and he uttered a strangled scream of embarrassment. She raised her eyebrows and was obviously trying not to laugh at him.

"Here's your towel Ed," she said in an amused voice. Ed snatched the towel from her hands and quickly covered his shame (although to tell the truth he had nothing to be ashamed of). Toby turned and walked away as she laughed loudly. Ed toweled off and put his pants on and walked out from behind the screen. He looked up at Toby and turned bright red. Mustang, Toby, and Armstrong all started laughing really, really hard. Ed walked over and sat down on his bunk. He glared at the other three alchemists who were roaring with laughter.

"Sorry Ed," Toby managed to gasp between bouts of laughter.

"Oh ha ha. Very funny," he muttered. Mustang looked at him.

"What's a matter Ed embarrassed?" he asked. The boy turned bright red and glared at him.

"I don't know why he'd be embarrassed. He's got more than enough. I guess they were right when they said big things come in small packages. It also explains why he's so short. With all that weight I'm amazed he's as tall as he is," Toby said grinning. Ed turned an even brighter shade of red at her comment sending her and Mustang into another fit of laughter.

"Don't worry Edward the Armstrongs have been subjected to similar humiliation for generations," Armstrong told him proudly.

"Believe it or not Ed I was actually being nice. Mustang wasn't going to give you a towel," Toby said looking at him. Ed glared at the raven haired man.

"You are an asshole," he said.

"It couldn't have gone better if I'd planned it," was all Mustang said. Toby rose from her bed and walked over to Ed with the first aid kit. She quickly bandaged his side then stood up and grabbed a few things from her bag. She grabbed a towel and then disappeared behind the screen. A minute later they heard the water turn on.

"She's a strange one," Mustang said taking a drink. Ed nodded.

"She seems older," Armstrong observed. Mustang nodded.

"She'll either go far or go nowhere," Mustang said.

"She's so mature. Like she's much older than me but she's not," Ed said.

"She's obviously been through a lot. If nothing else her auto-mail attests to that," Mustang said.

"Did you see that attack she was using? It was savage," Ed said remembering the way the flesh had been torn off the rebel's bones.

"She used the air to create a super strong, super heated wind. It was nothing like I've seen," Mustang said. The other two nodded and sat in silence until Toby reappeared from behind the screen. She wore a pair of black sweat pants and a black sports bra. The four men stared at her. Not because she had a killer figure nor because her chest was as black and blue as her face and arms, but because of her right side. Her auto-mail arm connected to her shoulder a little above her breast and the skin was scared much like Ed's was. From what they could see it looked like her breast was all flesh, but about half an inch below the band of her sports bra was a metal plate. It ran to the bottom of her rib cage and wrapped around her side and onto her back. The skin around it was twisted and scared well being red and puckered at the same time. Below the plate above her hip was a bullet wound; it went strait through her side and was still seeping blood. Toby ignored them and sat down on her bunk. She pulled the first aid kit over and began to bandage the bullet wound. She turned to do something exposing her back. On her right shoulder was a black angle wing that looked broken. The feathers around where her auto-mail connected were broken and stuck out at unnatural angles. On her left shoulder was it's twin, except the one on her left shoulder was perfect. Both wings were long and ran down her back until they disappeared under the waist band of her sweat pants. They looked so real that Ed was tempted to reach out and touch one of the feathers just to see what it felt like. Armstrong was the first to recover.

"You were injured worse that all of us yet you cared for our wounds first," he said staring at her with a new found respect.

"It looks worse than it is. It went strait through and it's really only a flesh wound. Besides I've seen worse days," she said.

"Obviously," Mustang said. As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to smack himself. Toby looked at him and smiled.

"What gave you the hint?" she asked rhetorically. Mustang just took another drink.

"That's what I punched?" Ed asked looking at her ribs. He couldn't believe that he'd punched her in sure a horrible wound even if it was healed; he hated it when people touched him were his auto-mail connected and beyond hated it when he got punched there.

"Ya. By the way is your hand still fucked up?" she asked as she lit a cigarette and leaned back against the support pole.

"No, it's sore but nothing serious," he told her. She nodded and took a drink of liquor. Mustang was staring at her. The obvious question burned in his head but he didn't want to be rude. After a few minutes Toby sighed and looked at him.

"Go ahead and ask I don't mind," she told him.

"How did you get you're auto-mail?" he asked.

"From being really, really dumb and doing something really, really illegal," she told him with a grin.

"How extensive is it?" Ed asked.

"Four and a half ribs," she told him.

"Pinako and Winry make it?" he asked studying it. He wanted a closer look but didn't want to embarrass her.

"You can come look at it Ed. And they replaced the stuff I had originally," she told him. He hopped from his bunk to hers and leaned in to look at it. She raised her arm so he could get a clear look at it.

"Who's Pinako and Winry?" Mustang asked. Toby looked at him.

"Our mechanics. Turns out Ed and I go to the same place," she told him.

"I didn't know they could replace internal bones with auto-mail," Armstrong said.

"They can do a lot with auto-mail if you know the right people. The muscles surrounding the ribs is synthetic as well. That tickles Ed," she said. Mustang and Armstrong looked at Ed who had sat strait up and was blushing.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"No big deal. I'm just really ticklish," she told him. From then on the three of them sat and talked about nothing until they fell asleep.


	6. Memories

Chapter Six: Memories

Ed was in the middle of the battle again. He could see everyone and everything around him in greater detail than before. He could see every drop of sweat on his enemies' faces and hear every scream as though the person was right next to him. Suddenly, he was facing the boy from earlier. He was the same except his neck was slit and blood stained the front of his shirt. He stared at Ed with dead, hallow eyes.

"I'm sorry," Ed told him. The boy just stared at him in silence. Ed began to cry that he was sorry over and over again, but the boy just stared at him saying nothing. Finally Ed turned and ran. He ran forever until he was swallowed by darkness. Ed looked around and saw his mother standing next to him.

"Mom!" he cried. His mother stared at him sadly.

"What have you become Ed?" she asked softly. Ed fell to his knees sobbing.

"I'm sorry!" he screamed. His mother just shook her head, turned and walked away from him. She disappeared and Al replaced her. It wasn't the suit of armor that had served as Al's body for the last six years it was his real body as it should have looked.

"Al please help me!" Ed screamed reaching for his brother's hand. Al stepped back so that Ed couldn't reach him.

"Stay away from me," he snapped and turned and walked away from Ed. Suddenly, Ed was surrounded by dark shapes. He didn't know who they were but they pointed at him and screamed wordlessly. Ed screamed too as he covered his ears and tried to block out their accusing voices. They said no words but they were condemning him to a fate worse than death.

0O0

Toby awoke to a horrible scream. She sat up gasping as she tried to figure out if it was her screaming. She looked over and saw Ed thrashing wildly in his bed. He was the one screaming not her.

"I'M SORRY!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. She shook her head to rid herself of the daze that had settled there. She leapt up and took two running steps and was shaking him. He just kept screaming.

"Wake up Edward!" she called. He just jerked out of her grasp and screamed even louder. She heard another horse yell join Ed's and looked over and saw that Mustang was twisting wildly in his bed as well. After a second Armstrong's screams of terror joined the other two's. She knew that she was the only one who could wake them up. Their tent was pretty far away from the others, and even if it hadn't been no one would come to help them. Everyone else was either to afraid or caught in their own dreams of their memories to help them.

She looked down at Ed and saw that his face was twisted in anguish. She backed away from him as she tried to stop what she knew was coming. She couldn't stop it though; she was standing in a small building and looking down at a small girl. She couldn't have been more than three or four. Her plain brown dress was covered in blood and she was screaming. Her leg had been blown off by one of Toby's flame attacks. Toby tried to calm the girl as the doctor tried to help her. She reached out to hold the little girl down but the girl screamed louder and pulled away from her. Her big blue eyes said it all; she saw Toby as a monster and would rather die than have her touch her.

Toby backed up until the back of her knees hit her bunk and shook her head trying to ward off the memory, but the little girl's screams filled her ears and she could see her blue eyes staring accusingly at her. Toby dropped to her knees and covered her ears as she tried to block out the screams from the little girl and the men in the tent. She closed her eyes tightly and began to scream. Her own higher scream joined the others that filled the tent. She could feel the hot tears that spilled down her cheeks and her throat tightening from screaming for so long. She didn't care, she didn't think, she did nothing but scream.

0O0

Josh Wilma was on patrol. The thick night was silent around him and he stopped to light a smoke. He was a tall lean older man that had been in Ishbal. He took a drag and looked out at the broken city that had once been Lior. He shook his head and blew a cloud of smoke. It was a crime what the military had done in this city; just as it had been all those years ago in Ishbal. He began walking his route again remembering the horrors he'd seen. Although he couldn't tell which memories were from Ishbal and which were from Lior.

As he passed the tent where the alchemist were staying a scream split the silent night air. Soon it was joined by another then another. Josh stopped and looked at the tent sadly as a fourth scream joined the others. He shook his head. The alchemist always screamed.

They'd been the ones who'd screamed at Ishbal and now they screamed in Lior.

Josh knew why they screamed too. It was because they use no weapons but their bodies and minds to kill. It was horrible to kill a man with your gun or a knife but to kill them with your body was something he didn't want to imagine. An alchemist had once told him that every time any alchemist used their alchemy they put a little bit of their soul into their attacks. That meant that alchemists used mind, body, and soul to kill. That was a prospect that Josh could never imagine and didn't want to. Alchemy was an art that was suppose to help the world and now the military had turned it into a weapon.

Josh had seen the four alchemist earlier; two were older and he remembered seeing them in Ishbal. But the other two were kids. A young woman and man that were barely out of childhood. He doubted that either one of them were old enough to drink. He'd seen the young woman here before; she was a Lieutenant Cornel and solid as a rock, but she was still a child. In truth he didn't know how she'd managed to gain such a high rank at her age. He was pretty sure that the young man was Edward Elric. The boy was a legend and had been the one who had 'saved' Lior three years ago. He'd helped these people and now he was killing them.

Josh listened to the screams that still rose from the alchemists and shook his head. They were beyond help and he wouldn't have helped them if he could. The last thing he wanted was to enter a tent of alchemists all of which were screaming in terror. The last thing he needed was for one of them to wake up in a panic and kill him. He shook his head again and wished the poor alchemists peace before continuing on with his patrol.

0O0

Ed jerked awake at the sound of his own screams. He was gasping for breath and tears streamed down his face. After a moment he realized that there were people screaming around him and clamped his hands over his ears. They were screams of anguish and horror. It was the sound of souls being ripped apart. He looked over and could see Mustang and Armstrong thrashing wildly in the darkness. Their screams were horse and loud. He looked down and saw that Toby was on her knees next to her bed. Tears streamed down her face from her tightly closed eyes. Her hands were pressed against her ears and her mouth was wide. A never ending scream poured from her throat. He tore the tangled covers away from him and dropped onto the ground next to her.

"Toby!" he cried. She didn't heard him, she just kept screaming. He reached forward and grabbed her shoulders tightly. He shook her violently until she stopped screaming. He let her shoulders go and watched her as she sat half-panting half-sobbing. Finally after a few minutes she dropped her hands and opened her eyes. She looked at him for a minute then stood up. He watched as she retrieved two wash clothes from the closet and went and turned the sink on. She soaked them under the running water then wrung them out. Ed watched as she walked over and put one on Mustang's forehead and the other on Armstrong's. The two men slowly quieted until they made no sounds and the only movement they made was the gentle rise and fall of their chests. Toby walked back to her bunk and sat down. Ed stood and sat across from her on his own bed. They sat in silence for a while; both of them just stared at the ground.

"Should have thought of that first…Thank you," Toby finally said.

"No problem. What happened?" he asked quietly.

"Domino effect. I woke up because you were screaming. Then they stared screaming. I was trying to wake you up when one of my memories was triggered and I stared screaming," she told him softly.

"I'm sorry," he told her.

"Don't be. If you hadn't stared it someone else would have," she said. They sat in silence for a while.

"Why didn't anyone help us? They must have heard us," he asked.

"I'm sure they did. They never help us. If anyone starts screaming they just leave them be. They're afraid they might catch it," she said.

"Catch what?" he asked, but he already knew the answer.

"Fear," was all she said. Ed stared at the ground for a long time.

"This place is hell," he muttered.

"Ya, and we're here for life. If in no other way that our memories," Toby said. Ed looked up at her and saw that she had moved so that she was leaning against the support beam again allowing him to see her tattoos. She'd made a second bottle appear; it stood on the ground awaiting the first bottle that stood next to it to be emptied. He looked at the tattoo on her collar bone remembered that he hadn't understood it in the car, but now after only one night in this place he knew what it meant and believed it.

"God forgive me for all I've seen…" he breathed.

"Devil take me for all I've done…" Toby muttered. She picked up the bottle of whiskey from earlier and uncorked it. She took a swig and stared at the wall.

"Heaven lift my spirit…" he whispered.

"Hell shred my soul," she finished. Ed reached forward and took the bottle from her limp hand. She turned and looked at him.

"It'll help me sleep," he said and took a drink. The harsh liquid burned as it went down but not as badly as it had earlier. She laughed bitterly.

"Like either one of us is going back to sleep," she said as she reached across and took the bottle. She took a long drink and handed it back to Ed.

"This isn't healthy," he muttered staring at the bottle.

"Shut up and take a drink," Toby commanded. Ed looked at her and saw that she had turned black and blue from the waist up. There was no way he'd done all that. Suddenly he became aware of how sore he was and looked down. He could see bruising from under his bandages and on his ribs, but it didn't account for how sore he was.

"Why am I so sore?" he asked himself. Toby answered for him.

"Because you were in a battle. You got grazed twice and I'm sure you slammed into things that you don't remember. Plus your soul was ripped apart by what you saw and what you did. Get use to it, the same thing happens every time," she told him. He stared at his body for a moment longer then took another drink. He handed the bottle back to Toby. She looked at the bottle than at Ed.

"I really shouldn't encourage you to drink. It isn't healthy," she muttered lighting a cigarette.

"You're not encouraging me. I'm doing of my own free will. Now shut up and take a drink," he told her. She smiled slightly.

"I can tell you're gonna be a fun drunk," she said and did what Ed told her.


	7. Free!

Chapter Seven: FREE!!

So it went for six months. Ed, Toby, Armstrong, and Mustang went on patrol everyday. Some days it was fine and everything was peaceful and others they fought from sunrise to sunset. The four of them spent all their time at the camp in their tent unless they ventured out for food (which wasn't really food it was field rations) or to use the bathroom which was located beside their tent. Ed, Toby, and Mustang only got smashed after a particularly gruesome battle which grew farther and father apart as time went on. Most nights they stayed in their tent playing strip poker which Toby was a shark at. The most she ever lost in a game was two shoes, a sock, and a glove. The boys however wound up shivering by the sixth hand. By the second month they were there Toby owned every piece of clothing they had and she merely let them wear them. Other nights Armstrong would bore them with tales of his family's greatness. When this happened Mustang would fall asleep, Toby would remember something she had to do outside the tent, and Ed would get stuck hearing tales of Armstrong greatness.

The four of them became friends quickly largely because they were continually saving each others asses in battle or waking each other up when they began screaming which happened almost nightly. Every time one of them got wounded Toby would patch them up no problem.

Ed got to talk to Al a few times but every time he talked to him Ed felt kind of weird. Like they were on different planets. Al always sounded so happy and Ed always lied and told him he was fine, even when he had some bullet wound on his body. Ed wondered what it would be like to go back to a world where he didn't have to worry about suicide bombers and getting shot at everyday.

One day six months after they'd arrived Armstrong was boring Ed with more family history. The man never seemed to run out of stories. Mustang was snoring loudly from his bunk and Toby was out doing god knew what.

"…then my great-grandfather Tomas…" Armstrong was saying when they heard the unmistakable sound of Toby yelling. Both of them fell silent and Mustang sat up and looked at the tent flap. They listened as Toby got closer, she was yelling all the way.

"What the hell is she on about now?" Mustang asked.

"Hey I thought you were asleep," Ed said. Mustang just shrugged and watched as Toby flew into the tent. She had the biggest grin they had ever seen on her face. She stopped and looked at them.

"Smile. We're free," she said as she bounced happily around the tent. The three of them watched her. If they had learned anything in the last six month it was that Toby had the worst case of ADHD in history and a temper worse than Ed's. About a week after they'd arrived one of the men had made the mistake of asking Mustang how much it would cost to barrow Toby for a night. Before Mustang could answer Toby had tackled the guy. After he got out of the hospital tent Toby had made it a life's goal to make his life miserable. The solder was still on latrine duty and would probably be cleaning out toilets until his dieing days.

"She finally lost it," Mustang said.

"Ya," Ed said as he watched Toby leap on her bed and start jumping up and down.

"Yay! We're free! Gone bye-bye we will!" she cried. Mustang got up and walked over to the side of her bunk. He looked up at her and shook his head.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"I told you we're FREE!!" she said.

"Great now we're stuck with an insane female instead of just a crazy one," he said. Toby stopped jumping on her bed and grinned down at him.

"You are so stupid sometimes it's cute," she said before she swooped down and hugged him. Mustang stood in shock as she kissed his cheek and hugged him harder.

"What is she doing?" Armstrong asked staring at her. Mustang grinned at him.

"I have no clue but far be it from me to stop her," he said.

"You really are an old pervert," Ed said. Toby looked at him and grinned. She launched herself on him and kissed his forehead. Ed just stood for a minute than grinned

"And you are a horny teenager," Mustang told him. Ed just grinned wider as Toby kissed him again and launched herself on Armstrong. When she hugged him his little pink sparkles appeared. She kissed Armstrong's cheek before leaping onto Armstrong's bunk then over to Mustang's bed and doing a back flip.

"YES! FREE! HAHAHA! YAY!" she cried jumping up and down. The three men watched her from across the room.

"As much as I'm enjoying watching this we should really find out what she's going on about," Mustang said after a few minutes.

"Do we have to? It's kind of nice," Ed said dreamily.

"Yes Edward we must," Armstrong said. Ed pouted at the huge blond man as he walked forward and caught Toby. She pouted and glared at him from his arms.

"Why'd you do that?' she asked sounding very put out.

"Because we don't understand what you're saying," Armstrong told her.

"I said we're free. The war's over. The rebel leader signed a surrender. We're going home tomorrow," she told him. Armstrong was so shocked that he dropped her. She landed on her butt with a small 'oof '. The three of them stared at her in disbelief.

"It's over?" Mustang asked.

"We're going home?" Ed asked. Toby jumped up onto Mustang's bunk again and began bouncing.

"YES! YES! WE'RE GOING HOME! REAL FOOD! A REAL BED! HOT WATER! A FLUSHING TOILET!" she cried as she fell backwards onto the bed. The three men looked at each other and smiled. It was the first time any of them had really smiled in six months.

"YES!!" Ed cried as he jumped up onto Mustang's bunk next to Toby, who was bouncing again. Ed began to jump up and down with her laughing happily. Ed never thought that their would be so much sure pure joy at the words 'We're free' but he was wrong.

"REAL FOOD!" Mustang cried happily.

"A HOT SHOWER!!" Armstrong said happily.

"MEN WHO AREN'T IN MILITARY UNIFORMS AND DON'T SMELL LIKE GUNPOWDER!! AND AREN'T YOU THREE!!" she cried.

"WOMEN WHO AREN'T YOU!!" Mustang yelled happily at Toby.

"A BED THAT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR ME!!" Armstrong declared happily.

"AL!!" Ed yelled happily.

"HAWKEYE! SHE'LL MAKE IT SO I WON'T HAVE TO DO A DAMN THING BUT SIT AT MY DESK!!" Mustang cried happily.

"MOTHER AND FATHER ARMSTRONG!!" Armstrong bellowed. Toby stopped bouncing and looked thoughtful. Ed stopped bouncing and looked at her.

"What's the matter?" he asked. She looked at him and grinned well shaking her head. That was when he realized that she never talked about anyone. She had no one to go home to. Ed looked at Mustang and Armstrong who seemed to have realized the same thing. They looked at Toby who looked kind of sad.

"What's the matter? When we get back you've got plenty of people to meet," Mustang said. Toby looked surprised at his comment.

"Who?" she asked.

"Hawkeye, Havoc…" Mustang began.

"Alicia, Mrs. Hughes, Al.." Ed said.

"Mother and Father," Armstrong finished.

"Really? In that case ALL THOSE PEOPLE!!" she shouted happily as she stared bouncing again. The four of them shouted happily and ran around the tent until they couldn't stand any longer and collapsed on one of the bunks laughing happily.

"Real food," Mustang said happily before drifting off to sleep.

"A bed that isn't a bunk," Armstrong muttered as he joined Mustang in the realm of sleep. Ed and Toby had collapsed next to each other on Mustang's bunk. Ed lay gazing dreamily at the roof of the tent for a while until worry settled over him.

"Toby?" he said hesitantly hoping that she was still awake.

"Ya," she said dreamily.

"What's it like when you go back?" he asked.

"Depends on the day Ed," she told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked hesitantly.

"Some day it's fine. Almost like it was before. But others it's like everyone who looks at you is condemning you. Almost as if they know what you did. The nights are the same though; sometimes you scream and sometimes you don't. But if you're expecting everything to be normal you're going to be greatly disappointed," she told him.

"Oh, does it get easier over time?" he asked.

"Did it get easier over time here?' she asked.

"Yes," he admitted. He didn't like it, but he'd grown use to killing people. Like every time he went into battle his heart sealed and didn't allow him to feel anything. Toby had been right it wasn't that he didn't care about the people here anymore it was that he couldn't.

"It's the same back in the civilized world. It gets easier but it never goes away," she told him. He nodded and moved his auto-mail; it ground and popped in a way that made him uneasy. He was going to have to get it serviced soon.

"You too huh?" Toby asked from beside him, "I've got to get mine fixed too. I think that when we get back we can get the Fuhrer to give us leave," she said.

"If we get leave would you like to go with me and Al. We'd be going to the same place. That way you don't get lonely," he asked after a minute.

"Ya, I'd like that. If nothing else Winry will attack you not me," she said. He could hear her smirking.

"Great so in other words I'm a human shield for you," he said.

"Yes but a greatly appreciated human shield," she told him. Ed grinned and the two of them fell silent. They both drifted off to sleep thinking about real food.


	8. Welcome Back

Chapter Eight: Welcome back

The next morning Ed, Toby, Mustang, and Armstrong left for Central with the Brigadier-General and his entourage. Most of the solders stayed behind to pack camp. Once again Toby was driving and the other three were stuck in the car with her. The trip back to Central was much pleasanter than the trip from it had been. Ed and Mustang argued the whole way, Armstrong tried to keep order, and Toby cheered them both on. It was slower going home than coming had been because there were more people and cars. Toby was impatient as hell along with the other three. They bitched and moaned every time they stopped for something. Toby however was the most vocal of the four. When the privet driving front of them slammed on the brakes for no reason Mustang and Ed had to hold her back so she couldn't get out of the car and beat the poor man. They couldn't prevent her from yelling some very imaginative and colorful suggestions out the window however; one of which involved a pig, a cigar, two chickens, and a certain vital part of the male anatomy. Mustang, Armstrong, and Ed all flinched at her words and tried not to imagine just how painful it would actually be.

A week after they'd left Lior they arrived in Central. As they drove to the city proper a crowd sprung up on either side of the street causing the military caravan to turn into a parade line. Toby pouted from behind the wheel at how slowly they were moving.

"Can't they move any faster?" she asked flicking a cigarette butt out the window.

"Of course not. We're heroes now that we won," Mustang muttered begrudgingly. The four of them sat slumped in their seats as the line of cars moved through the crowded streets. Finally after an hour they reached the military base. Toby pulled in behind the Brigadier-General's car. She killed the engine and looked out at the crowd that was at the base of the steps.

"If we made a break for it think we could get away?" she asked seriously.

"Not all of us. Maybe two or three," Mustang said after surveying the crowd closely.

"I'm willing to leave a few behind," Toby said.

"What makes you think that you wouldn't be the one left behind?" Armstrong asked.

"Because you two are old and Ed couldn't keep up with me with those stubby little legs he's got," Toby said.

"Hey, we aren't that old," Mustang protested.

"Sprint running has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations," Armstrong said.

"I do NOT have stubby legs," Ed sputtered angrily.

"Shut up and come on. Even if we could get away we'd be court marshaled and shot for embarrassing the military," Toby said as she opened her door. The others sighed and got out as well because they knew she was right.

"Remember boys big smiles and we loved every minute of it," Toby said as she put on a winning smile. Mustang nodded grimly and Armstrong forced a smile beneath his mustache. Ed sighed and tried to put on a smile that didn't look to fake. As they neared the crowd it parted revealing the Fuhrer standing at the top of the steps. He smiled down at them. A cheer went up from the crowd and yells of congratulations met their ears from all directions. Mustang lifted his arm and waved causing the other three to follow his lead. Ed fell into step beside Toby.

"I fucking hate this job," she said through her smile low enough that only Ed would hear. He nodded and smiled wider.

"We're doing all the tricks they want us to," he said.

"That's why we're called dogs," she said. They reached the Fuhrer and he spread his arms wide as if to embrace them causing the crowd to fall silent.

"Welcome home alchemist!" he proclaimed and the crowd let loose a roar of welcoming shouts.

"I give you our country's true heroes," he said as Ed and Toby stopped next to Mustang and Armstrong.

"He said the same thing when we got back from Ishbal except the crowd was booing us then," Mustang said from the corner of his mouth.

"Funny how these things work isn't it," Toby replied sarcastically. Mustang nodded and they listened as the Fuhrer thanked the Brigadier-General for his fearless leadership in Lior.

"The ass didn't even set foot outside the camp the whole time. Even the first time I was there," Toby growled through her fake smile. The other three nodded but joined in when the Brigadier-General's staff thanked him for being such a fearless leader. Then the Fuhrer turned to the four alchemist.

"And to you four thank you for winning the war. It would have been imposable without you. Thank you!" he said. The crowd howled its approval at his words.

"Watch as the puppeteer pulls the strings," Toby said under her breath.

"And we're his main attraction," Ed replied. After listening to the Fuhrer talk for a few more minutes they escorted him into the building. The Brigadier-General was like a dog on meat as he followed the Fuhrer to his office.

"Wait here O'Hare I wish to speak with these four in private," The Fuhrer said. Toby was obviously trying not to snicker at the indignant look on the Brigadier-General's face. She followed Mustang into the Fuhrer's office the four of them snapped a salute as soon as the door closed all the way. The Fuhrer sat down and looked at them.

"At ease," he said. They instantly dropped into resting attention. He sat and looked at them for a few moments.

"So care to tell me what it was really like?" he asked finally.

"We thought the Brigadier-General already informed you of all the details sir," Mustang said. The Fuhrer smiled at him.

"He did, except he made it sound neat and clean as though not a single life was lost," he told them, "I would like to hear it from the mouths of you four who were actually outside the camp." The four of them looked at each other then back at the Fuhrer. Armstrong began to speak but didn't.

"Go on," the Fuhrer said kindly.

"I was a second Ishbal sir," Armstrong said.

"It's true sir. It might have even been worse than Ishbal," Mustang said. The Fuhrer looked at Ed and Toby.

"And what did you two think," he asked. They looked at each other before returning their gazes to the Fuhrer.

"We'd rather not say sir," Ed told him.

"And why is that Fullmetal?" he asked.

"Because the prospect of death by firing squad doesn't really appeal to us sir," Toby said. He looked at her and laughed suddenly.

"Fair enough. Now down to business. Mustang you and your staff with be returning to Eastern Command," he told him.

"Why is that sir?" Mustang asked.

"Because you need a vacation. In Eastern Command you will be able to take it easy for a while," the Fuhrer explained. Mustang glanced at Toby from the corner of his eye. She was trying very hard not to say something, not that he blamed her. He had grown to like the girl over the last few months and valued her opinion. He'd actually looked forward to consulting her on tough decisions. He noticed that Fullmetal was also trying to keep silent and Armstrong looked like he was having a hard time keeping his silence. In truth over the last months they all had grown use to being together; they were comrades and could understand when one of them got in a bad mood or had a nightmare because they'd all been through the same thing. Mustang knew from experience that it was nice to have someone who understood near by; that was one of the reason he and Hughes had gotten along so well.

Ed and Armstrong were part of Mustang's staff (Armstrong had been transferred to him a few years back) so they would be accompanying him to Eastern Command, but Toby was part of the Fuhrer's personal staff. That meant that she'd have to stay here by herself and from what he'd found out in the last half of a year she didn't have anyone who she talked to. She was a loner in every since of the word. Mustang looked back at the Fuhrer who was looking at all four alchemists with something close to amusement on his face.

"Is there something you'd like to say?" he asked them. All four of them shook their heads slowly.

"Good, and Toby you will be going with Mustang. Eastern Command has grown since he was last there and I believe that he'll be needing your help," the Fuhrer said.

"Thank you sir," Toby said.

"Well, you all had better start packing your transfers are effective immediately. The rest of your staff has already packed and you will be leaving tomorrow. Any questions?" he asked clapping his large hands together.

"Yes sir," Toby said stepping forward. He looked at her. Mustang and Armstrong already knew what she was going to ask so they weren't surprised.

"Well," he said.

"Well sir you see Fullmetal and I need repairs on our auto-mail and are requesting a leave of absence to go get repairs," she explained.

"Granted. After you're repairs are finished you will report to Mustang," he said.

"Thank you sir," she said again.

"You are dismissed if there are no other issues," he said. The four of them saluted him then turned and left. They walked to Mustang's office on silence, and found Hawkeye, Al, and Havoc waiting for them.

"Glad to have you back sir," Hawkeye said saluting him. Al rushed forward and embraced Ed in a bone crunching hug.

"Oh brother I though I'd never see you alive again," he said to Ed who was turning blue due to lack of air.

"Al…you're crushing me," Ed managed to choke out.

"Oh sorry brother," Al said setting his older brother down again. Well Ed gasped for air Al turned to Armstrong.

"Good to see you back Major," he said bowing slightly.

"Thank you my boy," Armstrong boomed.

"Ya, glad to have you back." Havoc said, "You too chief," he said to Mustang.

"You've grown Edward," Hawkeye said. Everyone looked at Ed and saw that he had indeed grown. He was about three or four inches taller and his shoulders were wider. Months of dodging bullets had caused his muscles to fill out his slender frame and his hair was longer as well.

"Ya, that's one of the reasons I need to go see Winry," Ed said indignantly, "You all have no idea how hard it is walking around with one leg shorter than the other. And I told you I didn't have stubby legs," he said turning on Toby. She smirked and placed her hands on her hips showing just how long her legs were. She was still an inch or two taller than Ed, and her legs were much longer than his.

"Stubby compared to mine. But It's okay to be jealous Ed. I know you wish you looked half as good as I do," she said with an acid smile. Havoc, Hawkeye, and Al stared at her well Mustang and Armstrong snicker at Ed who was sputtering indignantly.

"She's got a point Fullmetal. Her legs are longer than anyone's in this room," Mustang said. Ed turned and glared at him.

"You're just taking her side because she's a girl," Ed said.

"Like you ever take my side for any other reason," Toby said.

"She's right Edward. She's always right…or at least that's what you say," Armstrong said in a slightly sarcastic voice.

"I take her side because she has valid points," Ed said.

"Ya, on her chest," Mustang shot back.

"Mustang has a valid point…on his head," Toby said. Mustang glared at her and she glared back. Al, Hawkeye, and Havoc watched in amazement as he dropped her gaze and conceded.

"Ya, that's right. I've got you guys so whipped it's sad. And what's sadder is that you're whipped and get nothing in return," she said laughing.

"The Armstrongs are never 'whipped'," Armstrong declared. Toby turned her gaze to him and he fell silent.

"Ya, never whipped," Ed said.

"Edward," she said without looking at him.

"Sorry," he said dropping his eyes. Laughing Mustang turned to the three people who were staring at the four alchemist in amazement. They'd never heard Armstrong be sarcastic before or Ed be called short without flying off the handle or Mustang back down from anyone ever let alone because of a look they gave him. They turned their gazes to Toby who smiled and waved slightly.

"Oh you don't know her do you?" Ed said. Mustang gave him a no-duh look before turning back to the shocked trio.

"Everyone this is Lieutenant Cornel Tobias Fuller the Elemental Alchemist. Toby these are Hawkeye, Havoc, and Alphonse," he said pointing to each one as he said their name.

"Yo," she said waving slightly.

"Wait a second YOU'RE Tobias Fuller?" Havoc asked staring at her.

"Last time I checked," she told him.

"But you're a chick and you're so young. What are you 20...21?" he asked in disbelief.

"19 actually. And ya I'm a chick. I know Tobias is a guys name, but my parents wanted a kid named Tobias so that's what they named me. I go by Toby though," she told him and laughed at the look on his face.

"But you're suppose to be some colossal, heartless destroyer," Havoc said staring at her.

"Well, she can be heartless," Ed said helpfully. Toby rolled her eyes.

"Thanks Ed. And I'm not as bad as everyone thinks. In truth I'm a 19 year old girl who's got a mean streak," she told Havoc as she patted his arm in a comforting manner.

"Oh, well you do seem that bad," he said after a minute. The seven of them stood talking in Mustang's office for a while until there was a knock on the door.

"Enter," Mustang called. A short woman with black hair entered and saluted them.

"Lieutenant Cornel I have three tickets to Resenbul for you per The Fuhrer's request. The train leaves tomorrow at 13 hundred hours (A/N: that's 1 o'clock in the afternoon for those of you who don't use military time)," she told Toby who looked surprised.

"Thank you," she told the woman.

"And there are two people here to see you. They say it's important. They're at the front desk," the woman informed her. Toby nodded and saluted the woman, "If there's nothing else you are dismissed," the woman shook her head

"Thank you," Toby said as she left.

"Who'd wanna see you?" Mustang asked jokingly.

"I have no idea. Probably someone who doesn't want to see you, although that could be anyone so it doesn't really narrow it down," she said as she turned and left. Mustang's protest followed her out the door. She walked down the long hall to the front desk smiling to herself. When she turned the corner to the main room she stopped smiling. There were two people standing there that she'd never wanted to see again.


	9. Property Of The Military

Chapter Nine: Property of The Military

A tall, fat, balding man with mousy features and small watery eyes stood next to a short horse-faced woman who looked as though she was scowling. The man had a white wife beater on and ratty blue jeans. The woman had a short, slutty red cocktail dress on. They were Herman and Ida Turner, and her godparents. She stopped walking when she saw them, and went to turn around and leave when Ida saw her.

"Toby darling!" she called as she rushed over. Toby cursed fluently under her breath and tried to find an escape route. Ida flung her arms around Toby and hugged her tightly. Toby shuttered at the woman's touch.

"We're so happy that you made it home safely," Herman said as Ida released her. Toby looked at them in disgust. She took a step backwards and glared at them.

"What's the matter honey?" Ida asked sweetly.

"You two didn't even know I was gone. In fact I'm pretty sure you didn't even know that I was in the military until today. You tell me to get lost and then show up almost two years later all caring and lovey dovey. What the hell?" Toby asked.

"We're your family and we care about you," Herman said. Toby stared at them like they'd lost their minds.

"What th… oh," she said as she realized why they'd showed up.

"What?" Herman asked.

"So what? Now that I'm a national hero you want me? Why don't you two get lost before I lose my temper," she said coldly. Instantly the kind looks on Herman's and Ida's faces vanished.

"Why you ungrateful little brat. We take you in and care for you and this is how you repay us. We should have never taken you in," Ida said coldly staring at the girl. Toby looked at her and laughed bitterly.

"Right. One meal a day if I was lucky and beatings twice daily if not more. Ya, you guys took such good care of me," Toby said. Herman took a step forward and raised his hand.

"Why you ungrateful little bitch. Apparently that mouth of yours is still full of sass. I guess I didn't hit it hard enough last time," he said as he moved to slap her. Toby flinched and closed her eyes. She waited for the hit to come but it didn't. She cracked open one eye and saw Mustang standing beside her with Herman's wrist in his hand.

"Excuse me sir but were you trying to hit the Lieutenant Cornel?" Mustang asked.

"Because it is wrong to hit a lady," Armstrong said as he appeared next to her.

"Plus that would be assaulting a high ranking military official and damaging government property. Both of which are serious crimes," Ed said from next to Mustang. Herman jerked his hand out of Mustang's grip and glared at him.

"Who the hell are you three?" he snarled.

"Cornel Roy Mustang the Flame Alchemist," Mustang said stepping so he was slightly in front of Toby.

"Major Alex Luis Armstrong the Strongarm Alchemist," Armstrong said as he struck his famous pose although he kept his shirt on for once.

"Edward Elric the Fullmetal Alchemist. And who the hell are you?" Ed challenged.

"I'm Herman Turner and this is my wife Ida. Now move; this is family business," Herman said glaring at Mustang.

"You aren't my family," Toby snapped looking around Mustang.

"Why you little…" Herman began as he pushed Mustang out of the way. He brought his fist forward and was about to hit Toby when Mustang swept his feet out from under him. Ed leapt on to the man's chest and morphed his auto-mail into a blade and pressed its tip to Herman's throat. Armstrong stepped so that he was blocking Toby from his view and glared at the man.

"You can't do that!" Ida yelled at them. Mustang glared at her and she fell silent.

"Now Mr. Herman you said that you were Toby's family is that correct?" Mustang asked.

"Yes," the man gasp from beneath Ed.

"Well, you're wrong," Armstrong told the man.

"What?" Ida asked.

"Toby said that you aren't her family and she's right," Mustang said.

"Than who's is she? We raised her like one of our own. She's our to do as we please with," Herman said glaring at them until Ed pushed the tip of his blade into the man's throat warningly.

"She's the military's now. That means you have no clam on her anymore," Mustang said.

"So that means if we ever see either of you two near her again I'll spear you," Ed said threateningly.

"Or I'll roast you," Mustang told them.

"Or I'll beat you," Armstrong finished.

"Do you understand?" Mustang asked. Both Herman and Ida nodded. Ed stepped off Herman's chest and both of them flew out of the building. Mustang looked pretty satisfied with himself and turned to the other two.

"Nice Ed I forgot how fast you are," he said. Ed just grinned and they turned back to Toby who smiled widely at them.

"Thanks guys," she said. Just then the whistle blew that switched shifts.

"I'm going to get a huge plate of food. Who's coming? I'm buying!" Toby declared.

"ME!!" Mustang, Armstrong, and Ed yelled at once as their hands shot up in the air.

"What about you three?" she asked turning to Al, Havoc, and Hawkeye who had been standing in stunned silence staring at the four of them.

"Sure," Havoc said.

"I'll go," Al added.

"Yes sir," Hawkeye said.

"To the restaurant!" Toby declared boldly as she rocketed out the door.

"Food!" Ed cried as he rushed after her.

"Steak!" Mustang said dreamily as he followed the two young Alchemist.

"A decent meal!" Armstrong boomed as he exited. The other three followed more slowly.

"That was strange," Al said.

"I've never seen the Cornel act so…brotherly," Havoc said. Hawkeye nodded.

"All three of them have changed. It's like those four are a family," she observed. The three of them exited the building and saw the four of them at the base of the stairs. Mustang had Ed in a headlock and was giving him a nuggy. Ed was pulling and pounding at Mustang's arm trying to get free. Armstrong was trying to get the two of them to behave and Toby was yelling encouragements at both of them well smoking a cigarette. Over all it was a pretty strange seen.

"What did they do to them?" Havoc asked staring at Ed and Mustang. Toby said something and Ed stopped trying to get free and glared at her.

"I don't know," Al said as Ed managed to free himself and launch towards Toby who dodged him and stuck out her tongue at him. Ed turned red and lunged at her again. He missed and fell on his face, as he rolled over Toby jumped on his chest and sat there pinning his arms with her legs. Mustang pointed at Ed and laughed

"Well, it seems that they haven't changed that much," Hawkeye said as they stared down the steps. The other two nodded and followed her watching as Toby jumped up and ran.

"Especial brother," Al said as he watched his older brother fly tackle Toby. If only they knew how much Ed, Armstrong, Mustang, and Toby had changed they'd be frightened.

0O0

Ed was laying on his bed rubbing his stomach. He groaned and closed his eyes.

"I ate to much," he muttered. Al looked at him and sighed.

"All of you ate to much. Between the four of you I think you cleaned out the kitchen," he told Ed. It was true Mustang had had three steaks with all the sides. Armstrong had had five full turkey dinners. Toby had eaten six bowls of beef ramen, two salads, and an order of chicken wings. And Ed had had seven hamburgers with French fries and an order of mozzarella sticks.

"After six months of nothing but field rations and water it was worth it," Ed muttered as he drifted off to sleep. Al smiled as he watched his brother sleep. He thought he'd never see his brother alive again. But now his brother was back with all his limbs in tacked and his auto-mail in one piece (pretty much). Tomorrow they were going to see Winry and as far as Al was concerned everything was right with the world.

Al watched Ed sleep for a while until Ed began thrashing wildly. Al jumped up and shook Ed but that only caused Ed to start crying.

"I'm sorry!" Ed screamed. Al backed away from his brother unsure what to do. Ed had had bad dreams before but nothing like this. Another person yelled from down the hall and Al threw open the door to see what was wrong. Hawkeye burst out of her quarters and rushed into the ones next to her. They were Mustang's room and when the door opened the yell got louder. Suddenly two door at the other end of the hall flew open. Toby and Armstrong emerged and looked at each other. Hawkeye ran out of Mustang's room looking panicked. She saw Toby in a sports bra and sweats and Armstrong in sweats.

"I can't get the Cornel to wake up," she said.

"I can't get Ed to wake up either," Al said.

"You take Mustang," Toby said. Armstrong nodded and walked into Mustang's room and closed the door. Toby jogged down the hall and pushed Al to the side. Ed was screaming wordlessly by now. Al watched as Toby stopped next to Ed's bed and grabbed his shoulders. She shook him violently until he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Still with us Edward?" she asked looking strait into his eyes. He swallowed and nodded wordlessly. She smiled reassuringly at him.

"We're home now relax," she told him as she released his shoulders. He nodded and stood up shakily.

"Brother?" Al said. Ed looked at him and tried to smile.

"I'm fine Al. I'll be right back," Ed told him as he walked over to the door. He stopped and looked at Toby, "Thanks," he said. She smiled at him and patted his shoulder.

"It'll get better I promise," she told him reassuringly. Al watched as Ed left. Toby stretched and turned to leave.

"Lieutenant Cornel?" he said Toby stopped and looked at him over her shoulder.

"Call me Toby. Everyone else does," she said. Al stared at her for a moment; he noticed her tattoos and her auto-mail for the first time.

"You have auto-mail," he said. She turned so he could see her front and Al gasped softly.

"Ya, that's why I'm going with you and Ed to Resenbul tomorrow. Winry and Pinako are my mechanics," she told him. He saw that she'd been crying as well her face was pale and drawn.

"Oh well. What's wrong with Ed?" Al asked her. She smiled sadly.

"The same thing that's wrong with Mustang, Armstrong, and me. We went to war. Now I've got to go check on Mustang. See you tomorrow Alphonse," she said before leaving. Al watched her go and then sat on his bunk until Ed returned. He sat silently well Ed stripped down to his boxers. He noticed how scared his brother's body was; there were bullet wounds and deep gashes all over his torso and legs; a few of which hadn't healed all the way.

"I'm sorry brother," Al said as Ed laid down on his bed.

"For what?" Ed asked.

"I'm just sorry," Al said when he couldn't find the right words. Ed stared at the ceiling.

"Me too Al. Me too," he said as he closed his eyes.

0O0

Hawkeye watched in near panic as Armstrong tried to wake Mustang up. She was scared, the Cornel would sometimes fall asleep at his desk and have nightmares. But they were different; visions of the past mellowed with time. At the moment Mustang was thrashing wildly and screaming wordlessly at the top of his lungs. And the fact that he couldn't be woken up was only adding to her terror. His scream was that of a tortured soul and Edward's had been the same. Hawkeye wanted to know what she could do but was to afraid to ask. Roy was a strong man and she couldn't imagine what it would take to make his scream like this.

Hawkeye jumped as the young woman walked into the room closing the door behind her. Armstrong let Mustang go and looked at her.

"He's to far gone. I can't get him to wake up," Armstrong asked. Toby stood for a moment then walked over next to Armstrong.

"Did you try…" she began

"No, I don't think it'll work," Armstrong said cutting her off.

"I'll do it. Worse case senero I get fried," she said eyeing Mustang's glove that he still had on. She turned to Hawkeye for the first time.

"Ms. Hawkeye you might wanna leave. There's a slight chance that uhhh… well basically we all die," Toby said. Hawkeye shook her head. She wasn't leaving until she knew Roy was alright. She really did care about him. Toby shrugged and Armstrong backed up until he was next to Hawkeye.

"What's she doing?" Hawkeye asked as she watched Toby pin Mustang down and hop onto his chest so he couldn't move. Mustang began thrashing even more violently.

"She's waking him up," Armstrong said. Hawkeye looked up at him and then back at Toby. She watched as the girl clamped her auto-mail hand over Mustang's mouth and pinched his nose closed with the other effectively cutting off his air well pinning his arms with her legs. Hawkeye yelled and started forward but Armstrong caught her.

"No, she knows what she'd doing. It's this or letting him scream it out," Armstrong told her. Hawkeye watched as Mustang suddenly got one of his arms loose and hit Toby hard enough that she was sent flying into one of the walls like a rag doll. Mustang opened his eyes and sat up gasping. He looked around wildly until he saw Armstrong and Hawkeye.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You were dreaming sir," Hawkeye told him.

"Mother Fucker," Toby said as she pulled herself to her knees. Mustang looked at her.

"Did I…" he began.

"Ya, but I earned it," she cut him off, "You okay Mustang. Armstrong couldn't get you to wake up?" she asked looking at him.

"Ya, fine," Mustang said as she got to her feet. She turned so that she was facing Hawkeye and Armstrong.

"Oh my god," Hawkeye breathed looking at her ribs.

"What?" Toby asked looking down at herself, after a second she realized what Hawkeye was talking about, "Oh that. Relax it's no big deal. I've had it forever," she reassured her thinking that the blonde was referring to her auto-mail. Hawkeye just looked at her. The girl was covered in scars from her shoulders down; everything ranging from bullet holes to scratches. One of the bullet wounds near her left hip hadn't healed all the way.

"Thank you Toby," Mustang said. Toby looked at him and grinned,

"No problem. I figured you didn't want Armstrong sitting on you," she told him. He smiled weakly.

"See you tomorrow sir," Armstrong said as he turned and left. As he did so Hawkeye noticed that his chest was scared as badly as Toby's. Toby nodded at Hawkeye and bid the two of them good night. She closed the door behind her and Hawkeye turned to Mustang who was sitting with his head in his hands. She looked at his bare chest and saw that he too was covered in new scars.

"Are you alright sir?" she asked. Mustang looked at her from between his fingers.

"Yes, sorry if I woke you Hawkeye," he replied.

"No sir. I was reading," Hawkeye said, "Sir the Lieutenant Cornel…did she get that auto-mail in Lior?" she asked him. He raised his head and looked at her.

"No. She got it 'from being really, really dumb and doing something really, really illegal' to use her words. Makes you look at her a little different doesn't it?' Mustang asked.

"Is that auto-mail on her ribs?" she asked.

"Yes, the plate and four and a half ribs a long with the muscles," Mustang told her sadly.

"She's so young though," Hawkeye said.

"So is Ed and he looks pretty much the same," he told her. Hawkeye looked at the door that Toby had just left by and sighed.

"Those people today, who were they?" she asked.

"I'm not sure but I think they were Toby's foster parents. Her parents died when she was really young. In Ishbal," Mustang told her.

"How tragic," Hawkeye said.

"No what's tragic was that she was there for the whole Ishballen Rebellion. Her parents were there on a good will mission when it broke out. They were one of the first to be killed. She was taken to the base and lived there for the whole thing. I remember seeing her once. She was a little child. I'm amazed that she isn't insane and that she joined the military after seeing what it meant," Mustang said. Hawkeye looked at him and saw true concern shinning in his eyes for the girl.

"If she was there for the whole thing than that's what she grew up knowing. It would be familiar to her. That's probably why she joined up," Hawkeye said,

"No she joined to get away from her foster parents. They should be in jail for neglect and child abuse," Mustang told her.

"She told you that?" she asked. Mustang shook his head.

"She told me that she joined to get away from them. Listening to what her foster parents said earlier and watching the way they acted towards her told me the rest," he said closing his eyes and cracking his neck.

"I should be getting back to bed sir. Are you sure you're alright?' she asked.

"Yes, thank you Hawkeye," he said.

"You're welcome sir," she replied although she didn't know for what.


	10. Monsters

Chapter Ten: Monsters

It was a quarter to 12 and Ed and Al were waiting in Mustang's office. Ed couldn't sit still so Mustang and Al watched as he danced around anxiously.

"Where is she? We're gonna be late," Ed whined.

"Relax brother. We've got a little more than an hour," Al said.

"Why are you so surprised? She never gets up on time and barely makes everything else," Mustang said sounding amused. Ed turned on him and glared.

"I'm glad you find this so funny. I'm gonna kill her if…" Ed began.

"Kill who?" Toby's voice cut him off. Ed swung around to yell at her and staggered backward as though he'd been hit with a ton of bricks. Mustang made a small sputtering sound at her. Neither one had ever seen her in anything other than her blue military uniform or her sports bar and sweat pants, but today she was wearing civilian clothes.

She had a tight black half-tee on under a black leather jacket that was unzipped. The shirt was just long enough that it covered her auto-mail. Her pants were tight hip huggers that flared at the bottom covering the tops of her black and white high-tops. Enough skin showed between her shirt and pants that they could see the straps of her blood red thong. Her hair was up in a pony-tail as usual, and a thick bronze chain was wrapped around her neck twice. On a thin silver chain below it hung an ornate silver auk. She wore black eye liner and charcoal gray eye shadow causing her bright green eyes to stand out even more. Through her ears were studs with black and silver spiked balls on them, and at least two dozen silver bangles adorned her left wrist. The silver from her auto-mail, bracelets, and auk stood out brilliantly against all the black she wore along with her pale skin. They could see some of the scars on her stomach but she still looked amazing.

Over all she looked older and much hotter that way. Ed thought that she looked like same gothic rockstar. She smiled at them hesitantly.

"You two okay?" she asked.

"You…you look….amazing," Mustang said.

"Thank you. Sorry I was late Ed. I kinda over slept," she said turning to him. He just nodded and kept staring at her.

"Brother," Al said trying not to laugh. Ed looked at him well trying to keep his eyes on Toby at the same time.

"Huh?" he asked.

"We have to go," Al said.

"Oh…right," Ed said shaking his head, "Let's go." Toby laughed and nodded.

"See you Mustang," she said as she turned to leave. Just before her hand touched the doorknob the door flew open. Havoc stepped in with a cigarette in his mouth and files under his arm. He stopped and stared at Toby.

"Lieutenant Cornel?" he asked staring at her.

"Yes and no smoking," she said as she plucked the cigarette from his lips. She took a drag and smiled at him, "Thanks," she said and with that she left with Ed and Al behind her. Havoc stared after her.

"How old is she again?" he asked.

"19. Why?" Mustang asked.

"If only she was a year older she'd be in my limit," Havoc said. Mustang was torn between humor and annoyance at Havoc's comment.

"Yes, she is a prime example of why I was all female officers to wear tiny mini-skirts," Mustang said deciding to ignore his comment for the most part. Havoc nodded.

"I'd be happy with skin tight pants," he said. Mustang cleared his throat.

"Did you have something I needed to sign or did you just show up to oggal the Lieutenant Cornel?" he asked. Havoc shook his head.

"Oh right well.." he began.

0O0

The train ride to Resenbul was nice. Al found that he really liked Toby. She reminded him of Ed in a weird way. And by the time the train pulled into the station Al felt like he'd known her forever. They walked to Winry's in a good mood. Ed laughed at all of Toby's jokes and Al smiled at the sight of Ed smiling. They reached the door and Ed knocked. Winry answer the door and let out a cry of welcome.

"Hey Ed," she cried as she launched herself onto him. He hugged her back and she let go and looked at Toby.

"Oh hello Toby," she said smiling. Toby waved.

"Yo," she said. Just then Pinako came to the door.

"Hello boys. Finally decided to come and see us huh?" she asked puffing on her pipe.

"Ya, we figured you earned it," Ed joked. Pinako looked past Ed and smiled when she saw Toby.

"Tobias good to see you again. Well, come in all of you," Pinako said. The three of them followed her into the kitchen. Winry, Toby, Ed, and Pinako sat at the table and Al stood behind his brother.

"So how are you?" Winry asked.

"Good," Al told her.

"Fine," Ed said.

"Aces," Toby added.

"Still in the military?" Pinako asked. Toby and Ed nodded solemnly.

"How could you guys work for those monsters? Look at what they did in Lior. I heard it was a slaughter. And what those alchemist did. Those people must be soulless monsters to do that," Winry said. Ed and Toby listened to her with strait faces well Al stood behind them shaking his head frantically and waving his hands. Winry didn't notice him but Pinako did.

"…did you know that they killed women and children as well. Heartless demons…" Winry was saying.

"Winry!" Pinako said sharply causing the blond haired girl to look at her. Toby got up and refused to look at Pinako or Winry.

"I've got to go for a walk," she muttered as she turned to leave.

"I'll go with you," Ed said as he too got up. Wirny watched in confusion as the two of them left. As soon as the front door closed Al slammed his hand into his forehead. Winry looked at him.

"What?' she asked.

"Winry Ed and Toby were two of the alchemists in Lior. They're here because their auto-mail is messed up from the war," Al told her. Winry looked horrified.

"Oh my god," she said covering her mouth.

"I figured," Pinako said sadly.

"The other two were Cornel Mustang the man who came here after Mom died. And Major Armstrong the one who brought Ed and I back after Ed got his arm blown off," Al told her.

"Oh my god I've got to apologize," Winry said as she jumped up.

"Leave them be Winry. You'll only make it worse even if you don't mean to," Pinako said.

"But…" Winry began.

"Wirny you know brother he'll come back when he's ready," Al said. Winry sat back down and stared at the table top. The three of them stood in silence wondering what damage Winry's words had done.

0O0

Ed and Toby walked in silence. They made their way out of the house and down to the stream. Tear streamed silently down their faces. When they got to the stream Toby collapsed on the bank and pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her arms on them. She buried her face in them and silent sobs wracked her shoulder. Ed sat down next to her and cried into his hands. They sat thinking about all they'd done and what Winry had said. She had been right they were soulless monsters. They'd killed innocent people. It didn't matter that it was on orders. Finally Ed spoke.

"She's right," he said.

"I know," Toby said with out lifting her head up.

"I wonder if that's how most people see us?" Ed asked miserably.

"Does it matter? That's the way your family sees you. I can't imagine how much that hurts Ed. I'm sorry," she said, her voice muffled by her arms.

"You're right. It doesn't matter. I'm a monster," he said as he buried his head in his hands again and sobbed.

"I'm so sorry Ed," Toby said again.

"For what?" he asked.

"Forcing you to go to Lior. I tried to convince the Fuhrer that he didn't need to sent more alchemist in but failed," she said.

"It's okay at least you tried," he muttered through his hands. She just shrugged and started sobbing again. The two of them sat crying for a long time. Twilight settled over them and they still didn't move. They just sat crying. Every now and then one of them would look up to see how late it was but they never moved. Finally midnight came and Ed looked up at the stars.

"We should go back," he muttered.

"Go ahead," she muttered. He looked at her and reached out and touched her shoulder. She flinched causing him to pull his hand back.

"Toby?" he said.

"It's fine Ed. Go ahead I'll be in in a while," she said without looking at him. He stared at her for a moment longer before he got up and went back. The house was dark and he went strait to his room. Al was waiting for him.

"Brother?" he asked.

"It's fine Al. I'm tired," he lied. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. Ed lay there with his eyes closed until morning never sleeping.


	11. Forgiveness with a Side of Bacon

Chapter Eleven: Forgiveness With a Side of Bacon

The next morning Winry sat at the kitchen table alone. She felt horrible about what she'd said to Toby and Ed. She sat and stared into her coffee wondering how she could make it right. She heard the screen door slam shut and looked up and found Toby walking across the living room. Her make up had run and she had black streaks where her tears had run down her face. She didn't even look at Winry she just walked toward the bathroom.

"Toby!" Winry said. Toby stopped and looked at her. Winry bit her lip at how bad she looked. Dark circles were under her eyes and she was pale.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," Winry said quietly.

"Yes you did or else you wouldn't have said it. And you should be apologizing to Ed. You're his family and he now knows that you think he's a monster. He was fucked up about the whole thing before but now it's even worse. If I were you I'd tell him that you were sorry not me," Toby said before she scooped up her bag that was behind the sofa and walked to the bathroom. Winry stood staring at where Toby had been a minute before biting her lip. Toby was right and she knew it. Winry turned and sat back down at the table. A few minutes later Pinako appeared and looked at her granddaughter.

"Did they ever come back?" she asked.

"I heard Ed come home last night and Toby just came back," Winry told her. Pinako nodded and got herself a cup of coffee. A few minutes later Al walked out and sat down across from them.

"How is he?" Pinako asked. Al shrugged.

"I don't know he wouldn't say more than three words to me," he said. Just then Toby walked by in blue jeans and a white tank-top. She still had her chains and bangles on but no make up. She walked out the front door with out looking at them. Al sighed and Winry groaned.

"They hate me now," she said slamming her head into the table. Pinako shook her head.

"No, they hate themselves. I've seen the same thing with solders from Ishbal," Pinako said. A few minutes later Ed walked in and got a cup of coffee. He looked at them then dropped his eyes and walked out the front door. Al got up and walked outside. He found Ed and Toby standing on the porch; Toby was smoking a cigarette and Ed was drinking his coffee. They looked at him then went back to staring out at the horizon.

"Are you okay brother?" he asked.

"I told you I'm fine Al," Ed said not looking at him.

"Brother Winry is really sorry about what she said. She thinks you hate her," Al told him.

"I don't hate her," Ed said.

"Maybe you should tell her that," Toby said. Ed looked at her, she sighed and looked at him.

"What's said is said Ed and there's no changing it. But it's stupid to loose your family because of something that stupid. The only thing to do now is except it and move forward or else you'll be left behind," she told him. He stared at her.

"She's right brother," Al said. Ed looked at him seriously.

"Do you hate me Al?' he asked.

"No brother," Al said honestly.

"Do you think I'm a monster?" Ed asked.

"No. No matter what I could never hate you or think you were a monster," Al said. Ed nodded and went back into the house. Al stood for a moment staring at Toby.

"What?" she asked. He just shook his head.

"Nothing," he told her. She looked back out at the horizon. Al turned and walked back into the house.

"I don't hate you Winry," he heard Ed say.

"Oh Ed I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I just thought that maybe if I told you what I thought of the military you might leave," Wirny cried. Al walked in and found Winry tightly hugging a very awkward looking Ed.

"It's okay Winry really," Ed said patting her head. She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes.

"Do you mean it?" she asked. Ed nodded. Pinako stood up and clapped her hands.

"Now that that's settled who wants breakfast?" she asked cheerily.

"Food!" Ed said happily. Suddenly Toby appeared in the door way.

"Did I hear someone say breakfast?" she asked eagerly. Ed looked at her and grinned.

"Ya, food," Ed told her. She looked at Pinako who was studying her with an amused look.

"A little hungry are we?" she asked.

"YES!" Ed and Toby said at once. Pinako grinned and began to make breakfast. Ed and Toby sat down next to each other and Winry sat across from them with Al.

"How can you two be hungry after all you've eaten in the last two days?" Al asked. Ed and Toby just smiled.

"So what do you two need?" Winry asked looking at their auto-mail.

"My leg's too short and my arm pops and grinds when I move it wrong," Ed told her.

"My arm pops and grinds all the time and my plate is pretty messed up," Toby told her.

"After breakfast we'll take a look at both of you," Pinako said from the stove. The smell of eggs and bacon wafted through the kitchen. Ed took a deep breath and sighed.

"That smells so good," he said dreamily.

"Anything that is actually cooked smells good," Toby said sighing contently. The two of them stared dreamily at the ceiling well Pinako cooked breakfast. When she finally put the food on the table Toby and Ed looked at it like ravenous dogs. They waited until everyone else had taken a plate then dug in. Pinako and Winry were surprised at how quickly, not to mention the volume the two slim alchemist ate. Pinako had cooked enough for a dozen people so she and Winry had had enough. Finally it was down to the last piece of bacon. Both Ed and Toby reached for it at once. They both grabbed it and glared at each other.

"Let go Ed," Toby said.

"I got it first Toby," Ed said.

"Be a gentleman and let the lady have the last piece," she said with an acid smile.

"If you see a lady let me know," he said. She shrugged and looked like she was going to let go. Ed smirked until Toby brought her foot up and shoved it into his chest. Ed fell backwards and let go. Toby smirked down at him.

"I win," she said as she began to take a bite. Ed lunged at her and knocked her backwards out of the chair. Pinako began to laugh and Winry and Al stared down at them. Ed had his arms wrapped around Toby's waist well she was trying to get away.

"Geoff. Geoff me Ed," she said as she beat at him with her human hand well holding the bacon in her other.

"Gimme it!" Ed yelled.

"No!" she said laughing. She managed to wiggle out from his grasp.

"Gimme my bacon!" Ed said lunging at her. Toby laughed and licked the bacon.

"Still want it?" she asked smirking. Ed growled at her and lunged at her again and landed on her chest. He sat on her and grabbed the bacon. He shoved it half in his mouth. Toby growled and ripped half of it out of his mouth and swallowed it whole.

"Get off me Ed," she said. Ed just smirked and sat on her chest.

"Wow breakfast and a show," Winry said as she watched Toby flip Ed over and pin his arms under her knees well sitting on his chest.

"Say mercy," she taunted. Ed growled at her and began trashing wildly. He finally managed to throw Toby off him and pin her. He might have won except he brought his left hand down on her chest to hold her down and accidentally grabbed her breast. He yelped in horror and shot backwards like he'd been shot from a cannon. Toby, Winry, and Pinako began laughing at him well Al stared at his brother. Ed looked horrified and stared at his offending hand.

"BOTHER!" Al said in horror. Ed looked at him and began to rub his hand frantically on his jeans causing the three females in the room to laugh harder.

"You know Ed if you cut you're hand off Winry could make you a new one," Toby told him laughing. Ed looked at his hand like he was seriously contemplating it.

"She doesn't have cooties Ed," Winry told him in between bouts of laughter.

"Are you alright Edward?" Pinako asked kindly.

"I need soap and water! I feel dirty!" Ed yelled as he jumped up and ran into the bathroom.

"Hey I'm a chick not a leper," Toby yelled after him. Wirny laughed and walked out of the room and down the hall.

0O0

Ed finished scrubbing his hand; it was red and raw. He couldn't believe he'd done that. It had been an accident but he was still embarrassed. He'd started noticing just how attractive Tony was a few months ago and had written it off to the fact that she was the only woman he'd talked to in months. He'd hoped that he'd stop noticing when they got back but so far he was failing miserably. He walked out of the bathroom and ran into Winry. She fell backwards and landed on her butt.

He looked down at her and suddenly was over whelmed by a memory. He was back in Lior and in the middle of one of the battles. He'd come running around the corner and ran into a young woman with long blond hair. She'd stared up at him for a moment then raised the gun she'd held and pointed at his face. He took a step back and she'd cursed his name and gone to pull the trigger.

Ed had dropped and slammed his charged hands into the ground. The earth below the woman had erupted and sent her flying into a building wall. She'd fallen to the ground limp, broken, and dead. He remembered thinking how he should have been sad but he hadn't felt anything. She'd tried to kill him and he'd killed her. That was it; nothing else.


	12. Freaked Out, Suicidal, and Lost

Chapter Twelve: Freaked out, Suicidal, and Lost

Winry stared at Ed and watched as his eyes glazed over and he stared at her like he was remembering something. Panic began to show on his face and she began to get really worried.

"Ed," she said softly. He took a step back and raised his hands as if to protect himself.

"Ed?" she said again this time hesitantly. He just took another step back and she got to her feet. She took a step forward and he raised his hands higher, almost like she was going to attack him. Just then Toby, Al, and Pinako came around the corner. They fell silent at the sight of Ed and Winry.

"Ed what's wrong," Winry asked. Ed just took another step back. He was getting ready to run that much was obvious.

"Winry I'd move if I were you," Toby told her softly as she began to inch forward. Wirny looked at her.

"Why? What's wrong?" she asked looking back at Ed.

"He's having a flashback and that is a very bad thing," Toby told her as she took another small step forward.

"Like his dreams?" Al asked looking at his brothers panicked face in alarm.

"Kinda…except his body's awake. Which means it's more than capable to do alchemy. Which is a very bad thing," Toby told him never taking her eyes off Ed.

"What do we do?" Winry asked.

"You move," Toby told her.

"But…What are you going to do?" Winry asked as she jerked around. Ed took off when Winry had moved. It was like the sudden movement had startled him like a dog startles a bird.

"Crap," Toby said as she took off after him. The three of them watched as Ed skidded around the corner closely followed by Toby. A second later they heard the screen door slam twice in a row.

"What's she going to do?" Winry asked.

"I don't know but she was the one who managed to wake him up when I couldn't … I hope brother's okay," Al told them.

"Me too," Winry said.

"They were in Lior together right Al?" Pinako asked, Al nodded and she looked at the spot where Ed had been, "That means she knows what to do when this happens," she told them reassuringly.

"Because she's seen him do it before?" Winry ventured.

"Partly, but because it probably happens to her too. Those two have a bond for life now," Pinako said wisely.

0O0

Ed ran as fast as he could. He didn't think he just acted. He was in panic mode and just wanted to get away. He heard someone behind him but didn't care. He just ran as fast as his leg would carry him and crashed through the front door.

Toby followed Ed and almost ripped the screen door off it's hinges as she flew through it. She stayed close to Ed but couldn't quiet catch him. He ran blindly and his panic lent him speed. She'd know that he'd run. He done it a few times in Lior but Mustang, Armstrong, or she had caught him before he'd gotten out of the tent. She hadn't realized how fast he was.

She followed him without really seeing where she was going. Her chest heaved as she followed him over a foot bridge that spanned the river and into a group of trees. They reached a clearing and Toby was close enough that she could hear his panicky gasps for breath. She took another running step and launched herself forward when her foot hit the ground. They rolled as they landed and Toby sat on Ed's chest. His golden eyes were that of a caged animal. Wild, frightened, and panicked. She held him on the ground until his eyes began to clear. She pinned his arms over his head with her hands and laid on him with her full weight so he couldn't get away from her.

"Edward?" she asked. He looked at her and she got off him. She knelt next to him on the ground as he pulled himself to his knees.

"I'm sorry," he muttered looking at the ground. Tears spilled from his eyes and dripped to the earth.

"It's no big deal," she said.

"Yes, it is. I'm a freak. I just snapped because I saw Winry sitting on the ground," he muttered.

"You are not a freak. I freak out at little shit like that too," she told him.

"But not as often. I'm a failer. I should just kill myself," he said looking at the ground. Suddenly he was hulled to his feet by strong hands. His face was jerked up and he found that he was staring at a very annoyed looking Tony.

"One the only reason I don't freak out as much is because I've had more practice. Between what I saw in Ishbal and Lior I've had plenty of time to practice not freaking out. Two you've been home for three days and you're still getting use to not having people shoot at you. Three you're around your family so you're not as guarded around your emotions. Four if you think you should kill yourself you're a fucking moron," she snapped. He glared at her.

"Why shouldn't I? Who would care? All I've done is screw up," he demanded.

"You are a fucking moron you know that. Why shouldn't you? Because you would be fucking up a lot of people. Winry would think it was her fault because of what she'd said and blame herself for the rest of her life. Pinako would mourn you for along time because she loves you. So would Al and Winry on that note. Besides who would look after your brother? How many people would look after an empty suit of armor? Who would get his body back? Ya, I know you're looking for the Philosopher's Stone and why. And as far as you being a screw up. Sure you biffed it a few times from what I've heard but you're obviously trying to make it better. You're a hero in people's eyes. And plenty of people have fucked up worse than you trust me," she yelled.

"Right I find that hard to believe. Who do you know who messed up worse than getting his brother's soul stuck in a suit of armor because he lost his body?" Ed yelled right back. Toby's eyes narrowed.

"Me. You're a fucking saint compared to me," she hissed.

"Feh," was all Ed said. Toby dropped the handful of his shirt and raised her human arm so he could see her wrist.

"See that?" she asked pointing to a T shaped scar that ran horizontally across her wrist and vertically up her arm. He nodded.

"Ya, so?" he asked.

"That would be the newest in the long line of fuck ups that is my life. I'm such a fuck up that I couldn't even kill myself right. Before that I managed to loose my right arm and a few ribs. And before that I screwed up so bad that I can even say what I did, but I'll tell you I didn't even come close to succeeding then either. So I'll make you a deal Edward when you can top all the things I've done I'll let you kill yourself but until then you're stuck here. Got it?" she snarled. Ed just stared at her and nodded. She dropped her hand to her side and studied him closely.

"Now you are going back to Winry's and getting some sleep. I can tell that you didn't sleep a wink last night. Don't argue with me Ed it's an order," she added when he opened his mouth to protest. She looked around her and realized she had no clue how to get back. Apparently Ed had lead them deeper into the forest than she'd thought.

"How do we get back Ed?" she asked. Ed opened his mouth before shutting it and looking around.

"Well uhhh…that way," he said pointing in some random direction. Toby looked at him nervously but followed him through the trees. Half-an-hour later they stopped and looked around.

"You're lost aren't you?" Toby asked.

"NO…I just can't find the way," Ed said indignantly.

"Well you'd better start FINDING the way. It's almost lunch time and I may consider converting to cannibalism," she told him.

"Haha very funny," he said in a sarcastic voice.

"What makes you think I'm joking? I'm pretty sure we're going in circles. I think I've seen that rock before," she said seriously.

"You're not joking?" he asked in horror.

"Relax Ed. I was joking. Breath through your nose…I'd at least wait 'till dinner. You've got some meat on your thighs," she said. Ed stared at her wearily.

"You wouldn't eat me…would you?" he asked in an unsure voice.

"Get us out of this forest and you won't have to find out," she said. He turned and began to look for a familiar marker with renewed determination. He stopped and looked at Toby was waiting with her arms crossed. She noticed that he'd stopped looking and quickly gave him incentive.

"I could also get a few good flank steaks off of you," she said darkly. Ed turned and hurried away through the trees.

"This way," he said . Toby smirked and followed him. Even if she was starving she wouldn't eat Ed… he'd be much to stringy.


End file.
